#trying to teach myself to A. write every day again and B. remind myself i can do shorter things sometimes too

[pastafossa]

"Poor thing." (Matt Murdock x F!Reader, Fic) 🔥

So as promised, I'm taking part in the October Tuna-Tober prompt challenge! For Day One I had three prompts to choose from, and I wound up going for the kink prompt of somnophilia cause, well, I'd hinted at it in TRT as being something Matt liked, but never actually sat down and wrote anything out for it. You can see the rest of the prompts I've chosen here if you'd like to know what's coming this month from me, but for now, please enjoy Day One! This is not specifically written as any fem!Reader in particular, although any readers of TRT can choose to see this as TRT's reader!

As a reminder, if you'd like notifications when I post something, you can follow my sideblog @pastaxandria and set it for notifications!

Ship: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Chapter Summary:

You’d had a long week. He remembered you telling him that the night before. You wouldn’t mind if he woke you up—you never did—but odds were good you needed your rest far more than you needed him dragging you up out of the haze of sleep for a sloppy, indulgent midnight fuck. But then… he didn’t have to wake you up, did he? 

Wordcount: 3.3k words

Warnings for this chapter, let's do this: consensual somnophilia (they talked about this being fine, don't worry), oral f-receiving, grinding, PiV sex, some dirty talk. 18 and up only please!

Oh and we're black suiting this cause fuck yeah.

Your arousal hit him the second he opened the rooftop door. 

The scent of it stopped him dead in his tracks, threads of heat winding through him as he drew in a long, slow inhale, savoring it. Another inhale, and he let out a low rumble of pleasure, his mouth already watering, cock stirring. 

Well, that was one way to be welcomed home.

Not that he was complaining. His night had gone well enough—the fights visceral and satisfying, with multiple people he’d ensured would make it home safely. But your skin against his, fucking his way lazily inside you while you moaned loudly into his ear, dragging your nails down his back, would only make a good night better. However, as he eagerly stepped through the door and closed it behind him, it quickly became clear that your body’s call to him wasn’t exactly intentional. 

He directed his senses down the stairs and into the bedroom, hunting through sensory information, through the fire of the world until he found you in bed. You were laying on your side and tucked under the blankets, one of your arms thrown over his pillow to hold it up against your chest. And despite the tempting scent of you in the air, you weren’t moving. Not really, anyway. At most, every now and then your fingers would twitch or curl, your heartbeat uneven and a little restless. 

Asleep. 

You were dreaming, then.

Maybe even dreaming of him. 

He slowly dragged his tongue over his lips, considering his options.

You’d had a long week. He remembered you telling him that the night before. You wouldn’t mind if he woke you up—you never did—but odds were good you needed your rest far more than you needed him dragging you up out of the haze of sleep for a sloppy, indulgent midnight fuck.

But then… he didn’t have to wake you up, did he? 

Just like that, he settled on a course of action.

He crept silently down the stairs, stripping out of his gloves and black mask as he went, tossing them aside without care for where they fell. The bottom step was carefully avoided, thanks to its tendency to creak and alert you to his presence. He stopped only long enough to kneel and quietly unlace his boots, tugging them and his socks off so that he could slip barefoot into the bedroom, weaving through the shadows, navigating around any floorboards that might give him away. He did it all without a sound, his senses so focused now he could hear the faint whisper of the dust motes in the air stirred by his passage, hear the tiniest shift of your skin against the sheets as you breathed, hear the blood flowing hot beneath your skin where you’d grown flushed and aroused. 

The scent of your arousal was even stronger here in the bedroom, more than enough to thicken the heat inside him, an instinctive little purr halted in his throat before it could stir the air with sound. His body knew just as well as he did what that scent meant, what always followed, and his nostrils flared as he got closer to you, taking in how your pheromones had mixed with his in bed. It stirred some possessive, lazy satisfaction in him to take in the way you’d curled up with his pillow, chasing his scent, and you were even wearing—

Oh. 

You were wearing his shirt. 

It was like you were begging for this, for him, for what he had planned. 

He crept up onto the bed on his hands and knees, each shift of the mattress followed by a pause, a confirmation from your heartbeat and breathing that you were still asleep. He had to be careful if he didn’t want to wake you. It wasn’t that you’d be angry, of course—you’d both agreed that this sort of thing was alright, though he’d had a far easier time making use of that agreement than you had thanks to his senses. No, this was about ensuring you still had a chance to rest. 

Though, if he were honest, the challenge of this was a thrill all its own. It was a delicate balancing act to give you the sensations you needed, allow himself access to your body, all without waking you. It was as if he were hunting you, gradually gaining ground from the shadows until at last he could take hold of his prize. Fortunately, this prize was one that would leave you both satisfied. 

The moment he found himself over your hips, he shifted to catch the blankets and slowly, ever so slowly began to edge them down. 

Gentle. 

Inch by inch, he bared your body to the air. You didn’t so much as stir, well and truly asleep, and presumably still caught up in your dream. Even so, he held his breath, listening closely to the beating of your heart and your shallow breathing. But he’d been careful enough, and besides, you were used to him climbing into bed in the middle of the night, shifting the blankets around as he crawled under them to join you. 

The scent of you that rose up as the blanket slid down was so much richer now that it wasn’t stifled and trapped by thick fabric. It made him shiver, his cock already so hard he could feel a damp spot growing on the silk of his boxers. He needed more of that scent, and to taste it, too, but the angle was all wrong with you on your side. So he gently traced one fingertip up the side of your thigh, applying the barest hint of pressure. You were normally fairly responsive to him even in sleep. 

“Roll over for me, sweetheart,” he whispered, leaning down to brush his lips, light as a feather, against your hip. “You smell so good. I need a taste.”

He wasn’t sure if it was his touch or his voice that made it past whatever dream you were lost in, but either way, some part of you heard him. You breathed out a soft sigh, twitching a little until he helped you roll slowly onto your back beneath him. You made a soft sound that might have been his name, and he couldn’t resist letting out a reassuring little croon as he pressed your slack thighs outwards, gradually parting your legs. There wasn’t so much as a hint of resistance as your legs fell open, baring the wet heat of your pussy to him. 

God, your scent. 

He quickly backed up a few inches before dropping to his hands and his knees, lowering his head just over your hips to quietly inhale the scent of your cunt. The rich, musky tang of your arousal—all pheromones and slick warmth—left him half mad, his eyes rolling back. His hips instinctively snapped forward against nothing but air, his body curving as if he were already fucking his way into you. 

It only got worse, got better when he let his head fall further, hungry for just a taste. He slipped his tongue out until he could use the tip for the barest little lick at the line of your slit where your arousal had gathered, your body twitching as he did. Even that small taste hit him like a drug, and he swallowed down a ragged moan, his chest hitching as he kept the sound from reaching the air. He’d told himself he’d just have a taste, just one, but one quickly became two became three, hungry, quickening laps at your slit until he finally whined softly in want and dropped the rest of his body down, burying his face desperately against your cunt. 

Your hips twitched, rocking against him just slightly, and you let out the softest little whimper as he grunted and slurped quietly at your slit, wetness smearing across his chin and mouth. Only once he’d thoroughly tasted what you’d made for him did he slide up to your clit, tongue extended to lap at it with little kitten licks, ones designed to encourage your body to give him more of your slick wetness, your body jerking with every pass. He tried to remind himself to be gentle, to take things soft and slow so you didn’t wake, but that was so hard when you whimpered again, whimpered as he pursed his lips to suck lightly at your clit, drawing it into his mouth to work with his tongue. Your fingers curled and released against the sheets, and you tasted so good that he found himself fucking against the mattress, humping mindlessly at the folds in the blankets like an animal.  

“M… Matt.”

His eyes fluttered lazily open, his gaze drifting up around the sensory shape of you. You were all flowing air currents and sounds and scents, twisting tongues of flame fed by the growing heat of both your bodies. Your heartbeat was still too slow to signal you’d woken up, but your breathing had picked up, your eyes fluttering more rapidly behind your eyelids. 

If you hadn’t been dreaming of him before, you were now. And if you were still dreaming, he was safe. 

He rumbled a low noise of satisfaction, using his fingers to part your folds before dipping down to your entrance. Once there, he began to lick firmly at you, pressing deeper and deeper until at last your body opened to him and he slipped inside. You let out a sleep little mewl, one of your legs shifting restlessly in your sleep, your head rolling on your pillow as he moaned quietly, curling his tongue inside you to drag against the silken heat of your clenching walls, his nose grinding gently against your clit. 

Did you know, somewhere deep down, what he was doing? That he’d spread you open like this and worked his tongue inside you? Or did all your dream self know was that you suddenly felt so, so good?

The very idea that you might not know, that you’d left yourself so vulnerable to him, had him dangerously close to coming, his motions growing just a hint more frantic. Wetness smeared across his face as he kissed sloppily at your slit, kissed at it like he might your mouth, snaking his tongue out to slide inside you with every pass of his lips. 

He listened carefully to the quickening pace of your heart, your breathing, taking in the faint sheen of sweat forming on your skin. Every time your heartrate rose too high, he’d slow just a little, or shift his mouth over to your folds or the inside of your thighs. It was there he left you a mark or two, sucking gently at thin, delicate skin. Even if he managed to do this without waking you, you’d know tomorrow what he’d done when you saw the little love bites and bruises between your thighs. The very idea made him purr warmly against you, and he quickly worked his hand down beneath himself until he could undo his pants, pushing the fabric down until he could pull his hard cock free. He took a moment to grind slowly, deliciously against the sheets, presing his mouth to the skin of your thigh to muffle his hitched moan. And that reminded him of what he’d planned on from the start, before he’d become distracted by the taste of you.

He was close, and he needed you. Fortunately, based on the way your body had begun to tighten in increasing waves, you were close, too. 

He let his head roll to the side to rest against your thigh as he panted, still grinding himself against the sheets. “Do you want my cock, sweetheart?” he whispered, his lips curling up into a delicious little smirk when your body clenched at the sound of his voice. “I think you do. Even when you’re asleep, you need me inside you, don’t you?” 

There was no verbal response, but the growing heat of your skin was enough for him. He rocked himself up as gently as he could, stopping just long enough to strip the rest of his clothes off before climbing slowly up your body. As he went, he caught the hem of your shirt, slowly dragging it up your body with him. He couldn’t take it off you—even he wouldn’t be able to mange something like that—but he had no desire to. The idea of fucking you while you were sleep, while you were wearing his shirt, was a fantasy he’d used more than once while taking himself in hand. He did, however, tug your shirt up just enough to bare your breasts to him. 

Obscene, something inside him whispered in delight, a wave of throbbing heat flooding through him. Here you were asleep, shirt pushed up over your breasts, your naked cunt practically dripping onto the sheets. He balanced his weight on one arm as he hovered over you, indulging himself as he palmed gently at one of your breasts, dragging his thumb slowly against your nipple. That won him another soft moan in your sleep, your cunt clenching, body tightening around nothing. Your next moan was even louder when he dropped his head to drag his tongue hotly against your other nipple, drawing it into his mouth to catch it gently between his teeth, sucking lazily until you let out an even louder moan, one of your hands curling as if to claw at the sheets before relaxing. “Poor thing,” he crooned quietly, reluctantly leaving your breasts to climb the rest of the way up your body. “Listen to you, so needy.”

And it would only be right to help with that, wouldn’t it? 

Once his hips were level with yours, he settled in, rocking and grinding his cock gently against your slit, slicking himself up with your warmth and the saliva he’d left behind. The sudden sensation of your burning heat against the underside of his cock made his mouth fall slack, and he started to pant at the little shocks of pleasure that washed over him every time he caught the head of his cock against your clit. You weren’t much better even asleep, whining as your hips jerked, eyes rolling frantically beneath your lids. It took everything in him to keep his motions gentle and slow, no matter how much his body demanded he grind and rut, fuck his way desperately inside you even if it woke you. No. No, not when he was so close, his cock now slick and ready for you. He let out a shaky breath, burying his face against your warm throat, huffing in the scent of you as he shifted the angle and began to slide inside you, centimeter by warm, delicious centimeter. 

“Fuck,” he whispered shakily, one of his hands fisting desperately in the sheets beside your head. “Fuck, sweetheart. You feel so good.”  

God, you were tight, so close to coming that you were already clenching tight around him. That tightness forced him to move gradually, his progress slowed to a sinfully dangerous crawl, one that allowed him to feel every last twitch and shift of your body around his cock. It seemed designed to make him lose his mind when he was already this worked up. In a blink, he’d caught the fabric of your shirt in his teeth, stifling his hoarse, shaky moan, your shallow, hitched breathing a tantalizing whisper of sensation in his ear. It felt like it took hours,  ages before he’d finally hilted himself inside you, buried in your slick heat. 

He forced himself to still there for a long moment, his chest heaving as he scanned over you with his senses again. 

Stuttered breathing, each breath hiding a faint moan. 

The fluttering clip of your heart, just slow enough to indicate you hadn’t woken. 

Your fingers clenching and releasing, spread thighs shifting in minute, restless movements against the sheets. 

It wouldn’t take much more for him to come, he knew that much—the taste of you still lingered on his tongue, filled his nose, and the drag of your skin against his with every breath only left him burning. But he wasn’t a selfish lover, even when you weren’t awake to beg and plead with him for release. No, he’d make sure you got what you needed, too: his sweetheart, so tender and soft and welcoming to the Devil even in sleep. 

He slowly, gradually settled his weight onto one arm, sliding his free hand down between your bodies. Even that much shifting around had him swallowing down a groan, and he couldn’t resist grinding just a little inside you. It made you twitch and whimper, hushed and breathless in his ear as he pressed his cock against that spot inside you. Once he was sure that hadn’t been enough to wake you, he quickly dragged two fingers through your folds, raking gently to gather up your wetness before he brought them back up to your clit. The rhythm he started was slow and easy, a gentle grind and loop over your clit that matched the rolling waves of his hips as he began to gently fuck you, barely retreating at all before sliding smoothly back to fill you once more. 

It took him no time at all to work your body up that final hill, your breathing growing shorter, your heart rate climbing as you began to tighten around him. It helped that he knew what you needed—each retreat was slow and gentle, and he never left you more than halfway before rolling lazily back forward, ensuring your warm cunt stayed achingly full as he brought you just up to the edge. This time it was your mouth that moved, not a word but a soft whisper of skin as you parted your lips, your head tipping back. And he knew that motion, even as slack and lazy as it was in your sleep. 

He purred quietly at the unconscious request that he fill you there, too, lifting his head to seek out your mouth. One soft lick against your lips and you parted them for him on pure instinct, allowing him to slide his tongue filthily into your slack mouth, dragging his tongue against yours, granting you what you’d asked for. You let out a soft sigh, your throat working beneath him as you sucked at the taste of him, of yourself, of you both. 

All it took from there was one more finger grinding against your clit, a gentle buck of his hips as he moaned into your mouth, and you crested, your body tightening and releasing around him in rippling waves. Your head rolled back in your sleep, a soft gasp shuddering up your throat as you twitched and shook, eyes rolling back beneath your lids. You let out what might have been a moan of his name, hot and sweet, a sound that seared its way across his mind like a brand. That was more than enough for him, and he let himself go. He groaned softly against your lips, snapping his hips gently against you as he spilled himself near-silently inside you, filling your cunt with a spreading heat that you wouldn’t notice until morning. He kissed you through it as gently as he could, rubbing lightly, quickly at your clit to drag your orgasm out along with his, pleasure rolling through him in gentle waves. Even once you both began to come down, he wasn’t quite done, rumbling a low, possessive growl as he ground himself inside you further, ensuring he’d coated every last inch of your warm cunt, his, you were his, even in sleep. He toyed with that overstimulation just long enough for his toes to curl, for his spent, softening cock to twitch inside you, spilling a few more drops, giving you everything he had as you drifted back down into a deep sleep. 

Satisfied with what he’d given you. 

He got one arm down and around your hip, gently, carefully rolling the both of you until you were both on your sides, his cock still buried deep inside you. He rumbled a low noise to reassure your sleeping mind, burying his nose in your hair as you sleepily curled into him, one arm draping itself over his waist. 

“Love you,” he murmured. “My good girl.” “Mm.”

[ben-learns-smth]

first months as a (substitute/supportive) teacher - some thoughts (an incomplete list)

autumn holidays start on friday, so I thought I'd write down some thoughts on my experience of the last 2-ish months. I definitely have some growing and learning to do, it shows that I'm only half-trained for this

surprisingly I enjoy working with the smallest (grade 1/2) the most. it's partially that (unless they need me for substitute lessons) I spend the most time in that class and have gotten to know the pupils quite well. I know the routines of the class and I got into a great rhythm with the main teacher

the pupils are opening up a lot more about their interests and their lives, striking up conversations with me when they see me in the yard during break. I'm glad that I don't seem like a stranger to them anymore!

substitute lessons without tasks prepared by the teacher are more draining than I expected them to be. I also lack skills for coming up with substitute lessons for my subjects (let alone other subjects) bc I have very little experience of what they're already supposed to know/be able to do. especially in english lessons it's hard to find an appropriate level

being the only visibly and out trans nonbinary teacher is exhausting. I'm looking forward to the day when I've given substitute lessons in every class so I can stop explaining myself. I don't mind explaining queer topics to children and it's important to have those conversations but I'm the only one having them bc I have to, bc my genderqueer appearance raises questions and if it doesn't introducing myself as mr./mx. does.

related to that I'm excited to work with another colleague on a diversity concept for the school that focuses on queerness. our main objective will be to raise awareness in teachers and students

I still struggle to find an appropriate mix between being strict and being fun. with some classes it works well, with others I need to be stricter than I'd like to be, with others I need to ease off a bit.

schools are incredibly gendered spaces and while I obviously knew that it still caught me off guard (and tbh I think it's having an influence on my habits which I Don't Like At All). everything is very clearly divided into boys and girls. I'm generally good with gender neutral language, but compared to my first weeks I jump to use gendered terms much quicker now (example: saying "the girl in the red jumper" instead of a neutral version when I don't know their names yet), including when I talk about myself which feels weird

good quality sleep is so important. being a teacher is super demanding, especially in some more chaotic classes and showing up with only a few hours of sleep is Not It

being able to remember names really well really fast is a super power and I'm grateful I can do that every time I meet a new class for a substitute lesson. the kids are impressed (teachers too), but most importantly it creates a different atmosphere in the classroom. (it's also easier to remind them of class rules when they need it)

so far, the past months have confirmed what I've been thinking for a while: teaching is something I could do, but I'm less sure if it's what I want to do in the long run. so even though I wasn't able to start deaf studies this winter I'm sticking to my plan: try out deaf studies for a year (starting next autumn) and work on the side, then decide if a) I keep going like that to do the full deaf studies b.a. b) I pause deaf studies to do my teacher training and then evaluate again or c) I do my teacher training and pick up uni classes for fun after

[potter-imagines]

Being Thor and Loki's Little Sister and Dating Peter Parker Would Include...

Notes: wow I haven't written a marvel one in a long time pls don't read too much into the timeline lol I know things overlap but just go with it (:

Warnings: none... I think ??

Word Count: 3.6k (sorry its a bit long for a write like this but I couldn't help myself)

You managed to do a decent job at keeping your relationship under wraps from your brothers for quite some time

Of course every other member on the team knew before the two of you even begun officially dating

Peter had spent three months ranting and raving to Tony Stark about how cute he thought you were and how much he liked you

Tony insisted time and time again he should tell you but Peter’s fear of rejection was much too large for him to find the courage for that

Unbeknownst to him,

You had spilled about your crush on Peter to Wanda and Nat almost a week after living in the compound

Being the only other girls there besides Pepper, it was easy to confide in them

Day after day you would wander to Wanda’s room and lay on her bed and gush about how handsome Peter was and how kind of a heart he had

Wanda found it adorable

And Bucky, Steve and Sam had placed the pieces together after days on end of watching Peter and yourself flirt like school kids in the gym during training

Even after being frozen for years, Steve recognized the look of smitten on Peter’s face when he talked to you

Bruce on the other hand had to sit through most of the kids talks with Tony in the lab so he figured it out fast

So when the two of you finally confessed your feelings for one another and Peter asked you out, there was only one road block holding the moment back from perfection

Your brothers

You and Peter shared the news with all the other team members expect the two, possibly most important in your case, members

You’ve been close to your brothers since you were brought into this world so it wasn’t like you didn’t want to tell them

It was more or less how overprotective they could be that made you bite your tongue

And as nervous as you are, Peter is 1,000% more worried about your brother’s finding out

Like honestly can you imagine how petrified Peter would be to tell Thor and Loki you two were dating

He’d purposely walk in the opposite direction every time he saw either of the two for the first week

Couldn’t stop fumbling with his words when he spoke to either of them

Like he was terrified

It’s sort of a cliché to have protective older brothers but older brothers who were also both Gods ????

Peter felt like a deadman walking

When the day finally came that you did tell your brothers about your relationship with Peter, it was absolutely cringe worthy

Peter had been coming home to the tower after a long day at Midtown High School when he spotted you the second he stepped foot out of the elevator

His excitement had clouded his judgement as he failed to check and see if the coast was clear

“Y/n! Hey!”

He nearly tumbled over his own feet as he rushed over to you

His face was gleaming with happiness and for a brief moment you felt a smile creep to your face until you were pulled back to reality by his hand reaching out to grasp yours

Your eyes widened in shock as you stared at Peter and before you could warn him to stop, he had planted a soft kiss on your cheek

That adorable smile was glowing from his face as he reached down for your hand only to fall once you pulled your hand away

He gave you a look of confusion, clearly surprised by your lack of response

But when an awkward cough sounded from behind him, he suddenly knew why

Peter didn’t have enough time to make any sort of a move when a husky, all too familiar voice spoke up,

“Hello, man of spiders. May I ask why you just kissed our little sister?” “Oh shit- I uh, well you see I…um...she had something on her face so I uh…”

Loki would snicker in amusement at seeing the boy squirm and prolong his torture “So you kissed her?” “Yeah…” “Hm, there something you’d like to share, little one?”

It wasn’t exactly the way you were hoping to break the news to your brothers

But it was certainly one way of doing it

The rest of the night was filled with awkward tension as you and Peter had to confess the truth to your brothers, who then made you share the news with the rest of the team

Thankfully, the rest of the team pretended they were just hearing about your new relationship for the first time, seeing as no one wanted to deal with an angry Thor

Now let’s get into your relationship with Peter

Peter Parker is the most caring person in the universe

Honestly

And dating him certainly came with it’s perks

You can expect to wake up every morning with a fresh coffee and a pastry on your nightstand, courtesy of Peter

He’ll also write you a sweet little ‘good morning’ note with a sketch of spider-man hanging from a web

(( he’s actually pretty talented in the doodling department ))

Makes cute sketches of him as spiderman and you as a princess ( vv fitting)

But also draws you as a total badass saving the galaxy bc… well you are

Count on him to be the first person to greet you when the sunrises and the last person to wish you a goodnight when it falls

Gets Mr. Stark to buy you an iphone so he can teach you how to use it

Has your name as “goddess” in his phone

The first thing he does is teach you about texting so he can pay you in imessage games

Refuses to play you in battleship since you somehow have crushed him every single time

Gets slightly annoyed with the overwhelming amount of random photos you snap of him

But he knows its all new to you and finds it irritatingly adorable

Loves it when you walk home with him from school

Will also keep reminding you that you shouldn’t have walked alone all the way to Midtown High School alone

Peter often forgets that you’re Asgardian and can protect yourself just fine

But it’s so cute how protective he is

He’s very observant and notices nearly everything

Like when you’re feeling a bit homesick

He picks up on it right away and will ask Thor and/or Loki for advice

Or when you start to become bored and tired at one of Star’s parties

Peter made his way over you before you even had the chance to turn and search for him

He’d escort you back to your room and lay with you until he was positive you had fallen asleep

Kisses to the top of your head

Is the boyfriend that will take your makeup off for you if you wear any

(( and sets yours lashes on the nightstand so neatly and labels which eye they were on cause the poor boy doesn’t understand ))

Spends weeks learning how to master the intricate braids that adorn your head

It’s so cute cause he’ll sit and look up Youtube videos and try to learn how to make the different braids and is just so confused but so determined

Taking Peter to visit Asgard

“Woah- this place looks like something from Lord of the Rings! It’s awesome!” “Lord of the Rings? I’ve never met that God.” “Uh, no, it’s a movie from Earth. We can watch it when we go back.” “To Midgard?” “Midgard? No, to New York.”

Loves it when your people refer to you as “Princess Y/n”

For some reason it makes him blush

Will tell everyone back on Earth that he’s dating a princess

I could def see Peter getting annoyed and frustrated with the Asgardian men trying to flirt and win your heart

Although that’s something that already belong to Peter

And even though Peter trusts you entirely

He’s still insecure from time to time

Especially when he sees how much taller and stronger Asgardian men look in comparison to him

But he finds reassurance in the feeling of your hand in his and the gleeful smile adorning your face as you show him around your homeland

Attempting to help Peter study

Although you’re not much help to Midgardian school work “Peter, darling, I don’t have a clue what a watergate is and I haven’t an idea how that could be scandalous.”

Maths however you excelled in

And Peter was thoroughly surprised to find you had the sequence of PI memorized to the one hundredth number- and in song form

Holding your hand 24/7

Endless cuddles on the couch

And when you’re walking around together, he does that thing where he swings your hands and back forth

Movie theater dates… at the tower b/c your brothers feel the need to be in close proximity the you guys at all times

Trying ice cream for the first time with Peter at two in the morning

One of Peter’s favorite things to do with you is take you through a walk in his world

At least three times a week Peter and you will walk around the city and find new things your Asgardian self has yet to experience

Like pizza

New York pizza to be exact

And hot chocolate

Ice skating at Rockefeller Center once the weather got cold

Loves to take you for drives in the more woodsy land of New York once fall set in and the leaves began to change

But by far his favorite thing is showing you Midgardian films and movies of all sorts

He loves that you don’t judge him for nerding out over his love for films

Not to mention you actually sit and watch Star Wars with him

(( maybe it was the whole space element but Peter was just thrilled you liked it ))

But then he shows you ‘Alien’

And it was an instant regret

It took him the rest of the night to convince you that the movie was fake

You made him sleep in your room just for reassurance

Your favorite out of the films Peter played was called ‘Toy Story’

Buzz Lightyear reminded you of Thor

In terms of TV shows

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. which quickly became your guys comfort show

Parks & Rec too “That Andy fellow looks an awful lot like Starlord, don’t you think?”

Peter refuses to let you watch Black Mirror

After the whole incident with Alien

Black Mirror didn’t seem like a good idea

Constantly teasing from the rest of the Avengers

Tony just can’t help it

He loves tormenting the two of you

Especially when Thor and/or Loki are around

“Hey Peter, I thought I saw you go into Y/n’s room last night but I didn’t see you leave until the morning. Heard a lot of noise too- thought Y/n was getting attacked. What was that about?”

Or

“Kid, I got you those condoms you asked for. How’d you manage to run out of that last box so quick? I just bought it for you a week ago!” “Messing with you, they’re just sugar packets- Thor put Peter down right now!”

Aunt May absolutely adores you

Always tells Peter how sweet you are and is constantly inviting you over for dinner

Lets you two have sleepovers in his room at her place

As long as the door stays open

Peter can’t stop laughing when you compliment May on her ability to make an amazing bowl of cereal

She thought it was a joke seeing as she burned dinner the night before to a crisp and laughs until she’s in tears

And you’re literally sitting there so confused, clearly not understanding the joke

Peter then takes you on a trip to a grocery store for the first time to show you a whole aisle full of cereal

It is then that you realize Aunt May didn’t hand make the fruity pebbles

She still laughs about it to this day

Befriending Ned and listening enthusiastically while he gives you a full speech on the franchise Star Wars

And his rant on how terrible Star Trek is in comparison

Is shocked when you ask questions out of genuine interest

Ned immediately takes a liking to you after that and asks Peter daily to invite you to hangout

Whenever Stark adds an upgrade to his suit, you’re the first person Peter shows it to

He shares quite literally everything with you

As do you to him

The rest of the Avengers love gossiping about you guys

Nat and Wanda have already started planning the wedding and Pepper has the perfect venue in mind, much to your brothers dismay

For some reason

Thor and Loki are always within reasonable distance, enough so they can keep an eye on you but also give some sense of privancy

Thor is def always the first one to step in

“Peter, please remove your hand from my sister’s behind.” “Oh uh, ye-yeah… sorry, Mr.Thor.”

Loki would find Peter amusing

He loves to mess with him whenever given the chance

“Ah, Peter. Good to see you. I’m sure Y/n informed you of our task today. Very impressed that you offered yourself as the sacrifice to the aliens-” “Wait, what? Y/n?!” “He’s kidding, Peter.”

Everyone in the Avenger’s tower knew Peter was lactose intolerant and knew the repercussions of the boy consuming any sort of dairy

(( he physically cannot leave the bathroom for a full day ))

Yet Loki regularly will swap Peter’s specially labeled almond milk with a jug of skim milk just for the hell of it

There’s something so hilarious to him about the look of panic and alarm that smacks abruptly across Peter’s face as he quickly stumbles out of the kitchen to his room

It keeps him laughing for days

You’ll just shoot your brother a look of disapproval, clearly certain it was his doing

“Loki, why did Peter run off?” “Not sure, darling sister, maybe he’s got one of those stomach bugs. I’ve heard Midgardians are prone to them…weak bodies and such.” "You switched out his milk again didn’t you.” “I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re accusing me of, little one.”

Thor is a bit more hesitant on accepting your relationship with his fellow Avenger

He trusts that Peter would never harm you

Although he did not trust that you would never be harmed because of Peter

It was risky enough that both your brothers were big names in space, as well on Earth, however

Thor knew Loki and himself were capable of protecting you but Peter?

He was just a kid, in Thor’s eyes

However the one thing that kept him from telling you this was seeing how happy Peter made you

As your older brother, Thor trusted your judgement and tried his best to be accepting of his little sister dating

And as much as he wanted to deny it, he saw crystal clear the care and love Peter gave to you and he wasn’t willing to break that for you

Still

Thor is the type of brother to barge into a room and shove himself between Peter and yourself without warning

This man does not care at all

At least Loki has the decency to give you two space as a couple

Thor does not

He is constantly third wheeling on your dates and will ‘accidentally’ walk into rooms he knows you two are in claiming he forgot something

Not that he ever grabs anything,

He’ll usually just stand and stare at the two of you until you either leave the room or ask him to leave

To which he always answers,

“No.”

But with a smile

A smug smile

PDA is something he will never be okay with

Thor will yank Peter back by the collar every time he sees his lips on yours and glare at him, “Man of spiders, I know you’re in love with my little sister but kissing her infront of me is too far.”

And Loki will physically gag just to piss you off

For the most part, your relationship with Peter is nearly perfect

It would be entirely perfect if you weren’t constantly worrying about him dying on a mission or getting hurt

But still, just like any couple, you had your moments

And when you did fight, it was typically over Peter’s safety or him not wanting you to tag along for a mission

Your common way of dealing with conflict was the silent treatment

Which is pure torture for Peter

Not only does he miss the sound of your voice

He misses having you around

Seeing your smile

Hearing you laugh from something he said

He felt terrible everytime

He’d go to Tony for advice and spend hours rambling on to him about how sorry he was for yelling at you and for adding to the fight

Tony would half listen while he worked away on a new system and suit, offering a ‘yeah’ and ‘hmm’ every few seconds which pleased Peter who thought his mentor was fully listening

And after almost two hours of his non-stop talking, Tony Stark had reached his limit

Setting his wrench down on the metal table with a thud he turned around to face the young boy

“Kid, why’re you saying all this to me and not her? I mean, I’m all ears but I’m also not Y/n. I know we’re both good looking so I can see why you mixed us up, but you should be talking to her right now.”

Similar to Peter you also had someone to confide in when the road got rocky

Loki had always been the one you shared all your secrets with

As children you were attached at the hip to both your brothers but Loki a smidgen more than Thor

Your father, Odin, had Thor at his side 24/7 growing up

While he was busy learning the ropes to ruling Asgard, Loki and yourself run amuck causing trouble left and right through the royal palace

Through the years of bonding Loki become your best friend, and you his

So when trouble struck in paradise, your older brother was the one you ran to

He’d welcome you with open arms and a questioning gaze

Loki is by far the best listener in your family

Instead of telling you what to do, he asks what you want, which is a refreshing change

After a long talk with Loki you’d search the tower high and low for Peter while ironically Peter was doing the same thing

When you did finally make-up, it felt like coming home

The apologies were so sincere and genuine

You’d end up having a sleepover in your room watching 80’s films that Peter claimed were ‘iconic’ and laying in his arms

And that’s where you felt complete

Fights never occurred often but bickering ???

DAILY

You two bickered playfully over everything under the sun

Like who’s the better superhero; Ironman or Captain American

Or

Debates between living in New York and living in Asgard

Loves to pull up Midgardian inventions and ask you to guess what it is “Princess, what do you think this is?” “Oh! Oh! I’ve seen this one! Tony has one in his kitchen!” “Okay, so what is it?” “Yes, it’s a chicken nugget maker!” “It’s actually an air fryer but we only ever make chicken nuggets in them so I’ll give you a half point.”

Peter sneaking out of your room at the crack of dawn and sprinting to his

As much as Thor and Loki liked him and supported the relationship

He was sure they’d both team up to murder him if they caught him sleeping in your bed

Steve and Tony, who seem to be incapable of sleep, have watched him tiptoe out of your room numerous times but they only share a look of amusement then go back to their previous discussion

Playing hide-n-go-seek and tag on rainy days at the tower

Cuddling in Peter’s bed while he asks you to tell him stories about Asgard

Loves hearing about your childhood and what it’s like to grow up with siblings

Is fascinated when you tell him about Heimdall

Stealing Peter’s hoodies

Especially his Midtown High School ones

They’re insanely soft

Sweet little kisses throughout the day

He's just so sweet and gentle

Loves getting to hold you and snuggle in his bed

Most weekends you spend lounging on the couch with Peter’s head in your lap while you play with his hair

Other times you’re sitting next to Peter on his bed watching him play some video game and asking a million questions “Who is that man, Peter?” “That’s me, he’s the main character of the game. That’s Mario, babe.” “You’re not Mario- you’re Peter.” “No, the main character of this game is Mario, I’m just playing him.” “Oh… and what is that green dinosaur creature?” “That’s Yoshi!” “Adorable.”

Making out between games

In terms of... y'know... sex

Neither of you were keen on rushing the process

You had tip toed on the line multiple times yet never fully crossed it

Until you had decided to make the first real move after being together for about five months

You trusted him with all your heart so it wasn't exactly scary, but rather exciting

He had a way of making you feel safe, comfortable, and loved all at once

Lets be honest, Peter nearly fainted the first time he saw you naked

And still, no matter how many times the two of you have sex,

He worships every inch of you like it was your first time all over again

You couldn't have asked for a better lover

Dating Peter means a new adventure everyday

You’re constantly learning new things about each other and from each other

Despite coming from two very different worlds

You’ve never felt more connected to a soul until Peter came along

[collectionsofbitsandbops]

Natalie's Reading Club #1

Hello random people of the internet. A strange idea has struck me and since I am stuck inside for the next few days, I decided to follow through on it. One of my few skills in life is recommending books, especially books based on what one already has read. I have decided to put this skill to use and recommend books that remind me of fanfics/ fanfiction writers.

First up we have Leo from Darkacademicfrom2021 a fanfic writer I found when I got into my Loki phase. They certainly have the dark academia aesthetic down to a T and every relationship they write is soft and loving and makes me want to wrap myself up in their words. So here are some books that have similar vibes to their writing. If you like the books, try the fics and vice versa.

Gods of Jade and Shadow- this was one of the first books that a)inspired this post and b) made me think of this writer. We have old gods, great adventures, and a main character who finds themself along the way. I think the description of old gods in Gods of Jade and Shadow is realistic, considering what they know and have seen. I think Leo has a great grasp on that concept.

An Enchantment of Ravens- Again we have old and powerful being falling for sarcastic/witty human. The slowburn romance in this book matches with a lot of what I have enjoyed from Leo and we also have idiots to lovers too. (which for some reason kept coming up as a trope when I reread their fics)

The Ten Thousand Doors of January- I kept trying to come up with a reason why this book made me think of Leo but other than a love of literature and vibes I was at a loss. But its going on the list. Both are great, that's what matters,

Air Awakens- powerful/misunderstood royal who takes charge in teaching a newly powerful being. Libraries. Fire powers like this story.

The Cat who Saved Books- Cats, books, adventure. All things I think about when it comes to Leo.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

12/5/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

2 Corinthians 5 - 9

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm Jill. Today's the fifth day of December. It's so great to be here with you as we journey through the Word of God in chronological order. And we are well on our way, 20 something thing days left in the year, and we will have been through the Bible every day. And if you've been here, you've been through the Bible every day in its entirety. What an amazing feat, accomplishment. And really just what a great thing as a believer in Jesus. It's just really good. We should know what the Word of God says. We should engage in a relationship with Scripture as believers every day. And it's true if you think about it. We do not eat once a week human food. We do not consume human food as nutrition to fuel our bodies and sustain us once a week. We can't live off of one meal a week and have the strength that we need to endure. We eat several times a day to fuel our bodies. And hopefully I'm speaking to myself, hopefully, Jill, you can do better at what you're fueling your body with. But it's the same. If the Bible is our daily bread, then we cannot live on junk food, gas station, pit stops. We can't live with a b twelve of a scripture out of context that just feeds the narrative that we are trying to support once a week, once a month, once every little while. So even today we just sort of dive in for our sustenance, for our nutrition or spiritual feeding for the day, if you will. Today we're reading Second Corinthians, chapters five through nine. And this week we're reading the New Living Translation, Second Corinthians, chapter five.

Commentary

We are in a place in the New Testament, in our reading and in the Bible where it may be beneficial to remind us again that these letters that we're reading are for a specific people in a specific place for a specific time. So there are things happening that compelled Paul to write these letters to early churches. Now, when you say early church, understand that these are some of the first churches established, and without instruction and correction, it is hard to form something at the very beginning of its existence. So that is first and foremost to hear as we finish out these readings and letters and teachings of Paul. And so we remember that today just to sort of reorient ourselves in the Scripture. And so that, one, we don't get lost, and secondly, we don't get mad at Paul. It can be similar to listening to the Book of James and just getting all mad at the messenger. And we get angry and offended because there's usually a tinge of truth we're not willing to admit or face. And so we just hear it and get offended and move on and carry that offense into the next thing. And so we hold that today that reminder as we move through these letters of instruction of correction and establishment, it is hard to model something that has never been done before. And I say that from experience because the Daily Audio Bible is actually the first podcast of its kind. There was there was no model. This was before podcasting was even a thing. And look at us now, 17 almost years later. And the very interesting thing is you learn as you grow and you learn as you go and you tweak some things along the way, correct some things, improve some things, adjust some things, all while listening to the voice of God, following the direction of the Holy Spirit and living in the fear of God, not man. And I think we see this strongly through and in the Apostle Paul.

Prayer

So Father, we thank you for your word today. We thank you for this reorientation and this reminder that may be relatable for some of us and for those that it's not. I pray that they may find deeper understanding or maybe just understanding itself. Thank you for your word and how it speaks to us, how it transforms us from the inside out. And I pray for those, Father, that are here in this community, that have been here faithfully. I pray for those that are new here. I pray for those that are brand new and they are just trying to get through this year and they are limping with little hope of making it through that finish line, not even sure or certain how they will get there. And I pray, Father, that your strength would carry them through, that they would just make it another day. Day by day, step by step, minute by minute, fully dependent on you, crying out to you, looking to you. Our very present help in time of need. Would you breathe your mighty breath that can only come from you to carry them through another day. I thank you that you hear us when we pray, that you are with us in the process. You are with us in the hard, and you are with us in the limping, crawling clawing and you go before us. We thank you for that. Thank you for your love, thank you for your strength. Thank you that you are trustworthy. May praise us now. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible, that's home base. Check it out. If you have not take a look around, check out the store. Maybe you're in need of a gift. Christmas Box makes a great gift and that time period of being able to purchase one for this year 2022, is coming to a quick close. So if you have not gotten your Christmas box yet, you can do so. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, we thank you so much for every partnership, every gift, every log thrown into the global campfire. That keeps it burning bright for another day. Truly could not do this without you. If you're giving by mail, DAB PO box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee 37174. Or you can give on the app, just hit the Give icon up at the top right hand corner. And lastly, you can look for the Give icon on the website if you need prayer. If you would like to pray for someone that's previously called in, you can do so several different ways. 800 583-2164, or once again utilizing that mobile app, hit the red circle, button up at the right hand corner, hit Submit, turn the wheel to Chronological and it will get to the right place. You have two minutes on the prayer app and we thank you for your cooperation. If you are looking to reach across the aisle and connect with a fellow DABber, Double DABber, we ask that you use our social media platforms for that Daily Audio Bible, official DAB Friends, Daily Audio Bible Chronological and DABC Friends. And my little playground is over at Daily Audio Bible Women. I love connecting with all of you ladies over there. That's it for me today. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line

Good morning, DABC. This is Renee from Florida. I have an urgent prayer request. My little sister Deanna is in the hospital. She had cardiac arrest. She was down for over 20 minutes. We've been to the hospital all day. My sisters and I yesterday watched her jerking and the doctors telling us there's no hope. She's had a rough life. But you all, I just want to ask for peace. Peace for my niece, salvation for my sister. I know she didn't go to church, but she read scriptures and she started actually believing in God and Jesus. And I found a scripture devotional in her car she was using. And I just wanted to be forgiven and to know that she is saved and she's with God. But even like the thief on the cross, he didn't have time to repent. But I do good things and he didn't have time to do good things, but he repented. And Jesus said today you will be with me in paradise. I pray this for my sister Deanna, if it's God's will to take her. She's been through cancer, she's been through a lot of stuff. She's been a rough life, she has played a victim, but I know how lonely she's been and she's fought demons. And right now my niece will maybe have to make the decision, even though we know it's God's dishes decision. He knows when we were born and when we will die. Tomorrow is her birthday and they're thinking that we should wait for at least tomorrow. I'm just asking your prayer warriors to come along and pray for Diana, for her salvation, for peace, for all of us to know that she's with Jesus and for us to just be together as sisters to get along, to love one another. Thank you. Thank you church.

Hi DABC family. This is God's Gal, Minnesota, and I'm new to DABC. I was just doing the other DAB, the DAB. And now I'm just starting the DABC. And I really am enjoying listening to Jill and China. But today I am calling with a praise and a congratulations to a caller that I just heard. Her name is Rachel and she's from the UK and hearing her story about listening. And I want to say rachel, congratulations. I believe you have been born again. You have a relationship now with Christ and have accepted him in and what an awesome story you gave and testimony actually, so congratulations and we're all a part of the DAB and DABC family and the global campfire. So thank you for calling in and I'm just so happy for you. It is a great, wonderful thing. We praise the Lord in ways that he works in our lives and we give him all the glory. So you are a saved child of God now and I just wish you the best with all your brothers and sisters. Thank you for calling in. Okay, signing off, this is God's Gal Minnesota and I love you all and God bless. Goodbye.

Whitney, this is Adrian from Maryland. It's mighty tortoise. I just wanted to let you know that I keep you and your whole family in my prayers every single day. I pray for you guys. I just want to let you know that you'll get through the holidays. Just take it a minute, a second at a time, and just thank God for your family. And maybe just I don't know. I've never been where you are, so I can't really give you advice, but I pray for you. And I just want to let you know that. And I love you and Alicia and your whole family, so just hang in there and hold on to God and we all love you and we all pray for you. But me, I pray for you every single day, so I love you. This is your friend Adrian in Maryland.

[bbmyungho]

Seventeen + an s/o with ADHD

a/n: sorry this isn’t an update on SNCTD; trust me, I’m just as excited as you guys to finish the story, but my mental health hasn’t been all that great lately if i’m being honest, and i’ve missed writing for svt so... two birds with one stone, y’know :) also, quick disclaimer: this specific reaction post will mainly center around my own experience with my ADHD/the symptoms that especially affect me. you may be able to relate to it, you may not, but i hope you enjoy it either way, i tried to include kind of a range of manifestations. if you don’t struggle with ADHD or ADD, i would definitely advise that you look into ways you can better understand people who do and maybe help them out, and if you do struggle with it, remember that you are valid and you matter so much no matter what your brain says or does <3 we all have days where we struggle to understand that, but i swear it’s true and i’m always here if you ever want to talk about it <3

s. coups/seungcheol

always reminding you to take care of yourself and your mental health first

he rubs your head and/or shoulders when you’re having trouble with grounding yourself and staying focused (like he does with jeonghan’s hair i <<<<</////3333)

he’s very good at disguising when he’s gently reminding you about things or encouraging you to get work he knows you have due soon done with jokes or banter (so you don’t feel bad about forgetting or getting distracted)

you bet he’s going to be up in the forums trying to figure out ways other people help out their loved ones and see if there’s anything else he can do to improve how he shows that he’s there for you

jeonghan

very gentle and patient

he hates the sound of his alarm but he keeps one in his phone to remind you to take your medicine (if you take it) because he knows if you’re doing something else when yours goes off you’ll just swipe off and forget about it

every once in a while just out of nowhere he’ll make it a point to remind you how special you are to him and make sure you know that you are so much more than your disability and you’re doing so well with it look at you go

encourages breaks like his life depends on it he really likes to hold you during your breaks pls let him love you

joshua

always brings an extra pair of headphones or an extra mask for you if you tend to misplace or forget things

he keeps reminders and notes about important events or appointments in your schedule in his phone alongside all of his stuff so he can a) know what you’re up to every once in a while and b) make sure you get there on time and prepared with a good luck text from your wonderful boyfriend :)))

he doesn’t mind having to repeat himself if you’re zoned out and he always reminds you you don’t have to apologize when you ask him to; he understands you’re not just uninterested, and he wants to help you get out of the cycle of apologizing for something you can’t control

your hyperfixations become his hyperfixations: he might not be able to really invest in them like you do but he will watch whatever show you want or listen to whatever music

plus whatever he sees when he’s out that relates to it or reminds him of you, he’ll pick it up; v supportive in your hyperfixations!!

jun

jun is a godsend for really bad executive dysfunction days omg

i feel like if you’re ever struggling to get your thoughts in order or think of the right word to say, he knows exactly what you mean and he’ll help you out with it

also i feel like he’s pretty good at keeping up with stuff if you’re super forgetful or tend to misplace things???

like you’ll be looking for your headphone case or something in your bag and he’ll pull it out of his jacket pocket like “oh you asked me to hold them earlier sorry i didn’t give them back” 

probably better at keeping up with your stuff than is he is his own ffs

hoshi/soonyoung

idk if anyone else really does this but i tend to isolate myself especially when i feel like i’m being really overzealous or obnoxious

but soonyoung absolutely hates when you do that

he tries to make it as clear as humanly possible that you could never ever be a burden or an annoyance to him and he likes to sit with you whenever you don’t feel like talking to people

he’s a pretty loud and energetic guy himself so i feel like if you’re having a hard time controlling your hyperactivity he’ll just match your energy

if he catches you picking at your nails or playing with your fingers a lot (just generally fidgeting a lot), he’ll pull you up to dance with him and you’ll let some of that energy out together :)

wonwoo

i feel like wonwoo is super sensitive to your needs and experiences specifically

like he knows exactly how you need him to react when you’re on the verge of tears because you’re so frustrated with yourself for not being able to focus or when you get overstimulated

he’s a pretty chill guy anyways so i feel like overstimulation isn’t a big problem with wonwoo, at least when it’s just you two; when it does happen, he’s content to sit in silence with you as long as you need him to and just hold your hand or stare at your cute face until you feel like you can breathe again

if you’re in need of stimulation, he’ll read to you aloud or turn the sound of whatever game he’s playing up so you can hear what’s going on, too

woozi/jihoon

100% composes little songs for you to listen to for whatever mood you’re in or whatever amount of stimulation you need

i feel like he’s quite awkward dealing with big shutdowns or panic attacks if you get really frustrated or over/under stimulated but he tries his best to be there for you when you need him

much like soonyoung, if you’ll let him sit with you when you feel like no one wants to see you or you don’t want to bother anyone, he’ll jump at the chance

dk/seokmin

sweet boy is so patient and kind :(((

he doesn’t care how many times you trip over your words or have to restart a sentence, he’ll wait for you to finish and will listen intently

he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky doesn’t matter what kind of dumb shit you’re doing or saying

no matter what your brain comes up with or how out of left field it may seem, he’s always got something to say right back that will match your energy babes 

mingyu

mingyu hums to you to help you fall asleep 100%

he can listen to you talk for forever so if your ADHD manifests itself in talkativeness, he’s just that much happier

he always asks if you’ve eaten and will cook for you if you say you’ve forgotten or just haven’t gotten around to it

he likes it when you play with his hands or when he feels your knee bouncing against his if you’re having trouble sitting still, he thinks it’s kinda cute and just a little reminder that you’re there 

the8/minghao

minghao is a man of many talents and interests so he’s always got you with something to do if you’re feeling burnt out on your other interests or just generally bored

will grab your hand and play with your fingers if he notices you picking at your skin/nails a lot or cracking your knuckles

or like if he’s wearing rings that day he’ll hand you one so you can play with it 

that way you’re still receiving some sort of stimulation but you’re not literally tearing skin off of your hand or about to break your wrists so win-win

seungkwan

he likes to play song association games with you sometimes, whether it be an attempt to help with your dysfunction or just to see how far out of line you guys can get

he always sends you a good morning text with a reminder to take your medicine (again, if you’re medicated) and wishing you a great day

if you get frustrated and sad with yourself then he’ll get sad as well and do everything in his power to cheer you up

he’s always encouraging you and making it a point to remind you that you’re valid and you’re doing your best even if it feels like you aren’t

vernon

mans doesn’t know where or what he is half the time tbh so i don’t think executive dysfunction would be too much of a problem for him

you two communicate without words all the time, you understand each other better than anyone else

he’s pretty go with the flow like he can be just as hyper and loud and energetic as you or he can just lay there with you cuddled up on his chest, it doesn’t matter to him, he just wants to match your energy

he tries to listen to you well and learn as much as he can about ways he can help when you need him to

like joshua, will probably carry around extra headphones or an extra mask or something just incase you misplace or forget yours

dino/chan

he’s a bit clueless, at least at first, but he tries really hard to learn

he probably is the type to carry a fidget spinner or some sort of fidget device for you to play with if those kinds of things help you

he’s also probably very awkward about handing it to you because idk he’s just weird??

always happy to try out new things with you when you’re feeling burnt out on your old hobbies or try to teach you a new dance routine or something to keep you occupied

[milkypompon]

𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 ℕ𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 | Gaang x Earthbender!Reader

𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖 | What’s life like with the Gaang when they include another Earthbender? Well to everyone’s surprise, it’s quite calm… sometimes. Y/N’s ability is unlike the hard-core Metalbending, Sandbending, and tradition Earthbendingof Toph. Yes, they’re fully capable of doing all that if they truly wanted to. But Y/N chooses to help out in their own way, giving life to nature and indirectly to their friends too.

𝔸𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖 | You can deem these as Character x Reader or just some adorable platonic love with the wonderful team! On another note, for some reason, I LITERALLY WRITE SMALL STORIES INSTEAD OF HEADCANONS LMAOOO. Still hope you got a lil something out of this.

𝔼ℕ𝕁𝕆𝕐

【𝔸𝔸ℕ𝔾】

Puns. That’s it puns.

The crew sat around a flickering fire dead in the night. Wind whistled into their ears and leaves swirled about their hair. Despite the chill weather, everyone chattered and laughed wildly. Sokka began yet another high tale of his that was supposedly dating back to his childhood. His arms flailed wildly, receiving cackles from Toph. While Katara and Zuko fell onto their side, legs kicking the air sporadically.

Y/N sat next to Aang who suddenly grabbed their shoulder and said firmly, “We need to talk.”

Everyone stopped their shenanigans.

Aang deepened his voice, “Y/N… for what’s Earth, you are the team’s most down to planet person ever.”

Y/N snorted, “IT’S DOWN TO EARTH. NOT PLANET”

Well… at least he tried.

Competitions on who can pull out the most potatoes out of the dirt. Let’s just say the Gaang ate potatoes for a week thanks to Aang. And an astonishing two week thanks to Y/N.

When they have heated arguments, which weren’t often, but the team sure as hell stepped on the gas when it did happen, Y/N would offer Aang some pretty nasty food. Nothing dangerous or poisonous, well Aang would actually describe the apple inhabiting worms he took a bite out of last week.

【𝕊𝕆𝕂𝕂𝔸】

Absolutely without a doubt calls you many nicknames

Exhibit A

Sokka poked Y/N’s cheek, he received a smile in return. “Hey, uh… plant nanny, could you swing by at my place and take a look at the vegetables Katara planted? They’re already wilting…”

Y/N giggled, “You planted them didn’t you?”

“Wha- of course I didn’t. FINE, I did!”

Exhibit B

“You just stepped on the chamomile flowers that just started sprouting!” Y/N squealed at Sokka.

“Oh SHIT-” Sokka ate a mouthful of dirt right after Y/N hit him hard in the back of the head with a tree branch. “I’m sorry I upset you Sweet Pea…”

Asked the Gaang as to why Y/N doesn’t perform traditional Earthbending and just received, “Why don’t you ask them yourself?”

Sokka was downright afraid, not because of Y/N’s personality, but he didn’t want to poke through their past. Obviously, curiosity got the best of him!

“Well, I just like the smell of flowers and the taste of organic food more than hurling rocks at people,” Y/N simply shrugged.

Sokka nodded, there was nothing more to it.

“But, sometimes I do like creating my own cliffs and pushing enemies off of it. It’s more meaningful if it’s from rocks I formed myself,” Y/N stared at him dead in the eye.

Sokka’s eyebrows arched high.

That was the last time anyone saw Sokka :0

【ℤ𝕌𝕂𝕆】

Many stories as the two planted flowers in front of the Fire Nation palace

“Y’know, Y/N, this reminds me of this one time Uncle made tea out of a white jade bush,” Zuko snickered.

Y/N eyes widened, “ISN’t THAT POISONOUS?? ... Or was it not??”

“Oh trust me, you would not want to be trying white jade bush tea,” he smirked.

Tends plants with Y/N because it reminds him of the peaceful days of when he served tea at Ba Sing Se

BUT, poor Zuko easily becomes sunburnt when he helps with Y/N’s garden

Y/N heard a knock at their bedroom door.

It was Zuko behind the door saying, “Uh, Y/N could you help me-”

When they swung the door open they were greeted with a scorched man with peeling skin. “HOLY SHIT! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!”

Quickly, Y/N led Zuko to the bathroom and in the corner sat a mini fridge. (He always wondered what was in it. Snacks?) When Y/N opened it, there were stacks of aloe vera leaves snuggled next to each other.

“Why do you have so much-” Zuko began.

“Let’s just say Aang was my first patient…” Y/N laughed under their breath. They gently applied the aloe onto Zuko’s body, which earned them hisses from the dramatic Fire Lord.

“That takes care of it!” Y/N clasped their hands proudly.

“Uh, Y/N. I’m feeling a bit… itCHY!” Zuko yelped.

That’s when both of them found out that Zuko was allergic to aloe vera. Congrats, now Y/N has to call the doctor.

Every weekend, Zuko swing by for new flowers for Ursa (if she returned to the palace... )

“Knock, knock!” Fire Lord Zuko greeted Y/N with a bright smile.

“What brings you here on this fine morning, Your Highness?” Y/N teased.

“Mother’s been nagging me to ask you for help to create a bouquet for each of the rooms in the palace,” Zuko stated.

Y/N’s voice hitched, “EACH ROOM??”

“Don’t worry! I’ll help you pick the flowers and arrange them!,” he offered.

“Oh, like you’d be of any help,” Y/N giggled.

“I swear I’ll be more careful this time,” Zuko rolled his eyes.

But, uh… this time ended up just like last week, Zuko set the flowers he was arranging on fire…

【𝕂𝔸𝕋𝔸ℝ𝔸 】

Basketweaving… attempts by Katara

On Ember Island, the Gaang was able to laze around for a few days (well until Zuko gave the team a big beating that Sozin’s comet was going to practically destroy the world).

Y/N sat under the shade of the swaying palm trees, undisturbed by the squealing of Sokka as his supposed sand sculpture resembling Suki was destroyed. Y/N hummed as they weaved the palm fronds into little baskets.

Katara approached them and commented, “Y/N that’s beautiful! I wish the Southern Water Tribe could make these. Sokka and I were kept busy creating pots with Gran-Gran.”

Y/N timidly scratched the back of their neck, “I could teach you if you’d like! Then we can use it to hold the fish we’ll catch later with Sokka.”

Y/N used their earthbending to pull down the leaves from the palm trees and their work began.

After the fishing trip of the wonderful trio, Katara carefully placed the fish they caught in the basket she wove. As they neared the sandy beach Aang took notice of their disgruntled state. He commented, “Why do all three of you look-”

“I TRIED OKAY! THE FISH GOT OUT OF THE BASKET I WOVE,” Katara defended herself.

“AND IT SLAPPED ALL THREE OF US BEFORE IT JUMPED BACK IN THE WATER,” Sokka yelled.

Katara tried, okay!

Flowercrowns

Many flowercrowns were made for the Gaang with the help of Katara

She may not be that great at creating baskets, but you can bet that Katara doesn’t stop at making crowns: She’s made necklaces and bracelets for Appa and Momo.

Potion making!

Katara would use her waterbending to mix the little potions that Y/N created They’d walk around rolling hills that contained many flowers and herbs that could be used for healing potions and in some cases caffeinated tea!

【𝕋𝕆ℙℍ】

Usual Toph shenanigans

“Ugh, some clerk just charged me over the usual price for these seeds we’ve been needing!” Y/N grumbled.

“Well, we could do something about it…” Toph smirked.

Y/N searched for some termites around the forest and Toph helped transport them around the clerk’s house.

- A few days later -

“Uh, Aang,” Zuko tugged at Aang’s sleeve. “Wasn’t there a house there a couple days ago?”

“I think you drank some cactus juice, buddy,” Sokka simply shrugged.

“Actually, I think there was…” Aang scratched his chin in confusion.

Toph offered Y/N a high-five, “A job well done, if I do say so myself!”

Some brawls that should have clearly not have started in the first place

“Y/N fite me!” Toph marched up to Y/N.

“No,” they stated bluntly.

“WHy! It’s kinda a thing for all us to train together,” she defended herself.

“Fine, but don’t get angry at me if you end up with a splinter or two,” Y/N rolled their eyes.

By sunset, Toph’s head was stuck in between a tree for a couple hours. Even Y/N couldn’t get her out. Or maybe they could…

Y/N teaches Toph “Treebending”, which was a challenge for both of them

“You have to be gentle with these plants Toph!” Y/N’s forehead was forming a red square from all their facepalms caused by Toph.

“I’M TRYING!” She quipped. “It’s kinda hard to be gentle when I’ve been practicing metalbending these past few weeks.

【ℝ𝔼ℚ𝕌𝔼𝕊𝕋 𝕋𝕆 𝔹𝔼 𝕆ℕ 𝔸 𝕋𝔸𝔾𝕃𝕀𝕊𝕋 𝕋ℍℝ𝕌 𝕄𝕐 𝕀ℕ𝔹𝕆𝕏 𝔸ℕ𝔻 ℝ𝔼ℚ𝕌𝔼𝕊𝕋𝕊 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝔸𝕋𝕃𝔸 𝔸ℝ�� 𝕆ℙ𝔼ℕ】

𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖 | THESE WERE SO FUN TO MAKE! Also, thanks again for the people who’ve been supporting my “Extra Hot Sifu Hotman: Zuko x Reader” fic! I’m taking a small break just to layout how I want the story to go and I’m trying my hand at doing headcanons/requests from my inbox.

[phalene33]

I wanted to do something nice for myself so I'm going to write a Choptop X my oc Kat short story. If people enjoy it I'll make a Part 2.

After a long battle with dealing with my abusive father, and taking care of my younger sister, I finally saved enough money to move away. I wanted to stay far away from my home state Kansas, and have settled on moving to a small town called Newt in Texas. I don't know much about Texas, or even the town itself, but from the few times I've been there it reminded me of my home town. So Newt was probably the best choice I had.

Checking how much gas I had left in my tank I drive over to a nearby gas station. It looked very run down. I assumed that the place was abandoned, so I was sorta surprised that a man came over to greet me. "Hello there ma'am, never seen you around these parts. You aren't around here are you?" "No sir, I used to live in Kansas but I just moved in. My name is Kat Valentine." "I'm Drayton Sawyer, I hope your move wasn't too difficult." "I had some problems arrive along the way but nothing I couldn't deal with. Do you have any gas?" "No ma'am, but show up tomorrow and we'll have some ready for ya." I nod and drive off to my new home hoping that by tomorrow I could fill up my car.

The next day I drove back to the gas station and to my luck they had some gas for me. After the man called Drayton filled up my car I gave him $20 and a tip. Driving off I set off to the nearest big city, wanting to get some things for myself. After driving for a few miles I finally entered one of the big cities. I drove around looking at all the businesses noticing a music store. I pulled into the parking lot and went inside. There was tons of albums from different artists of all genres. I immediately started looking for Plastic Beach a Gorrilaz album. Looking all over I noticed a odd looking man holding it. The man seemed to be a hippy, and he had pale skin, along with a birth mark going across his face. He also had the prettiest blue eye's I've ever seen which wasn't surprising considering most of the people in my hometown had brown eyes.

Despite hating public social interaction I decided to ask him where he found that album. Approaching him, I try to look slightly above his eyes so I didn't have to make eye contact. "Hello sir, I was looking for that same album you had in your hand. Could you tell me where you found it." I struggle to put on a natural looking smile, and mentally cussed myself out for sounding so strange. "Ah th-this one?" The man waves it in front of my face almost as if to brag about having it. "I-It's the last one h-honey, you'll have t-to come back n-next time!" He gives me a smile mocking me. Not wanting to deal with this I grab it out of his hand and starts running. "I'll let you have it back if you can catch me!"

The guy got down on his hands and knees and crawled after me like some kind of animal. But that was his first mistake. All I did was simply sit on him and raised the album high above me. He tried grabbing it, not realizing I weighed 115 pounds, and he could have simply just wrestled me for it and win. "G-Give it to me! I f-found it fair and s-square!" "Don't care, could have just gave it to me, but now you get to look like an idiot infront of everybody." The man gave me a look then pushed me off of him. I look up at him with the album close to my chest. "What? You didn't like me riding you or something? Wanted to be on top huh?" I hoped my flirting tactics would fluster him, so I could make my escape, but he just slightly blushed and looked down at me and laughed. "A-Arent you such a t-tease!" He grabbed the album from me with force. "Give it back fucker!"

He looked at me with excitement. "O-Or what?" I just stared at him not sure of what to say. "What's your name fucker?" Is all I could think to say. If I knew a little bit about this man I could possibly come up with a good threat. "B-Bobby Sawyer but everyone c-calls me Choptop!" He takes out a clothing hanger and scratched his head with it. "Wh-what yours?" "Kat Valentines..." I thought for a minute and remembered the name of the man who worked at the gas station. " I'm going to tell Drayton that you stole from me!" Yes I technically stole from him, but I wanted this album and I was willing to lie for it. He looked at me nervous for a second before speaking. "H-How do you know m-my brother?" "I met him yesterday, I was going to get gas for my car and we had a nice conversation." He stands up. "W-Well if you tell him anything, y-you'll regret it!" He then runs out of the store with the album.

All that work for nothing. I thought to myself before leaving to go back home. On my way home I decide to stop at the gas station again to talk to "Choptops" brother. That's right, I'm not giving up that easily. I want that damn album. I walked into the gas station and over to Drayton.

"Hello Miss Valentine, good seeing you again." He was holding a broom but didn't seem to be using it to sweep. "Hello Mr. Sawyer." I replied to him. "Haha please Mr. Sawyer was my grandfather." I give him a warm smile. "And Miss Valentine was my mother." We both chuckle lightly. "Just call me Kat." "Alright Kat, did you want to talk to me for a reason?" Thinking back at the album I nod to myself. "In fact I do, your brother has stolen something of mine." He gave me a frown and looked troubled. "I-I see." he thinks for a moment. "How about you come over for dinner tomorrow, and I'll have him return it to you then." I think about what's being said for a second. "For dinner? Oh you don't have to, I would just like him to return it." "Nonsense, you are new here, it would only be polite to to have you over for dinner." He kept insisting I stay for dinner so eventually I gave in and agreed.

The next day I didn't feel like getting out of bed, but in my search for that album I got up anyways and drove around town. Looking for the man who had what I so desperately desired, and after searching every small business I finally found who I was looking for..... On the side of the road waving at me to try and get my attention. I parked my car and got out walking over to him. "Got sum trouble with your truck here?" "D-Damn thing broke d-down on m-me." He started cussing in frustration. "Okay okay calm down, let me look at it." "You can't fix it, just drive me home!" I look at him annoyed. "Don't tell me what to do or I'll leave you here album stealer!" He replied with a tired sigh. I look at the engine to quickly learn that it over heated. "Good luck getting that fixed buddy." I set my arm on his shoulder. "Pl-please just take me home." He whined. "Give me that album and I will gladly do that." "Never!" "Okay..." I walk over to my car and get in. Choptop got into the passenger seat next to me. "I'm not taking you home until you give me that album." I stick out my tongue teasingly, only to be met with him pushing his lips against mine, and his tongue aggressively pushing against my own. Shocked I just sat there frozen until the kiss was over with. "L-Looks like I'll get to spend the d-day with you then." I keep quiet and drive off.

Though the drive was long it wasn't in silence. Choptop almost immediately turned on the radio and started talking to me. Telling me about his family and his interests. I would be lying if I told you I didn't find it cute whenever he talked about something he liked. His eyes would get big, and so would his smile. He would do hand gestures only stopping to scratch himself with the clothing hanger.

"K-Kat do you l-love music as m-much as I-I do?" I turn to look at him. "Mhm, my mother was a music prodigy before she died, so I grew up with different kinds of music." Mentioning that made him way more excited then before. He was practically vibrating like a woman's sex toy. "R-Really? D-Did she teach y-you how to p-play any i-instruments?!" I nodded and proceeded to name off a few that I knew how to play. He quickly cut me off tho. "Y-You should be the lead f-female singer in my b-band Cornbugs!" I was about to agree to it before realizing something.

"Hey you dirty thief, you need to give me back that damn album!" I hit him lightly in the arm. "I-I will, just agree t-to be the l-lead female singer i-in my band!" I sigh and give him a look. "Fine..." Choptop screams in excitement and gave me a kiss on my lips before pulling me into a hug.

[athenamikaelson]

I like your writing a lot it’s all super creative and you write dean very well! I was hoping I could request a Dean x reader where after Sam went to hell you moved into the Same town as Lisa and dean. You continued to be close with him and it makes Lisa uncomfortable and basically she tells the reader she has to leave if she wants dean to move on from his past life.

Dean Winchester x Reader

Request-I like your writing a lot. It's all super creative and you write dean very well! I was hoping I could request a Dean x reader where after Sam went to hell you moved into the Same town as Lisa and dean. You continued to be close with him and it makes Lisa uncomfortable and basically she tells the reader she has to leave if she wants Dean to move on from his past life.

Warnings- Alcohol, Lisa being a b*tch, angst

Word Count- 1520

“SAM!!!!” Dean’s cries are heard over my own as I hold Bobby’s lifeless body to my own. Tears streaming down my face. I look up to see the ground close up and Sam gone along with the gaping hole. My eyes divert to Dean as he falls to his knees, a lifeless look on his face. Oh no.

2 months later…

“Ben no that’s not how you hold a wrench. Didn’t your father teach you this already?” I stopped talking as soon as I heard what I said. Ben looks up at me with a confused glare.

“I’ve never had a dad.” I quickly pat him on the back and walk off not trying to get yelled at by Lisa again by my so called, “sociopathic tendencies.” It’s not my fault I don’t understand children.

I quickly made my way over to Dean who was laying under his never family car that he bought after putting the Impala in storage. 

“You and the kid become friends yet?” Dean’s gruff voice calls out under the small van. A fucking van. Never in a thousand years would I have ever thought I’d see the Dean Winchester drive a minivan with his own free will. But, Lisa wanted a van so they got a van.

“Nope. Doubt it’ll happen. Kids as bland as your cooking.” I take a beer from the cooler next to the toolbox. Dean slides out from under the van and gives me a disapproving look. He stands and takes the beer away from my lips and takes it for himself. 

“Hey! What the hell man. That was mine.” He rolls his eyes as he uses a rag to wipe his hands. Veins prominent as he stretches his fingers out. Oh how I’d love to-

“Kid you listening.” Dean knocks me out of my gross fantasizing.

“Stop calling me that. I’m only 3 years younger than you. The same as Lisa, and I don’t see you calling her that.” 

“Calling me what?” And in comes the Devil. Oops. Sorry Sammy. 

Lisa walks through the garage door and beams at Dean. The smile falters for a moment when she sees me. Dean wraps his arm around her waist bringing her in so he can place a kiss to his head. They stay like that. Wrapping each other in each other’s normality. I stand up not wanting to watch this for another moment longer. 

“Well, um. I’m going to head home. Long day and whatever.” I start to walk off. Making it another foot before Dean calls out behind me.

“Y/n, you good?” He has a questioning look on his face. No Dean I’m not. The man I’m in love with his wrapping his entire essence around a she-demon.

“Ya. I’m fine. Bye Deany,” I look over to see Lisa glaring at me, Dean is obviously oblivious, “Lisa.” 

Dean looks down at her, which makes her quickly plaster a fake smile on her lips and beam at me. 

“Night Y/n. See you later!” Ya if I don’t send you down to be bunk buddies with Sammy first.

5 Hours later. 

A rerun of The Golden Girls as I sip my beer, sleep not finding me tonight so I decide that alcohol will fix said problem. My head full of thoughts from the horrid day when Sammy left us. Dean’s screams never leave my dreams. So here is to another night of Golden Girls.

When I just about to grab another beer a knock sounds at the door. Wondering why Dean would be coming this late I quickly make my way to the door. I obviously don’t expect any of my neighbors because well. Let’s just say I haven’t been as welcoming in the neighborhood as Dean. Much to his complaints. 

“Dean what are you-” Oh her. Lisa smiles back at me. A devilish look in her eyes.

“Hello Y/n. Not Dean by the way. Can I come in?” Without getting an answer she brushes by me and walks in the living room. 

“Ya. Make yourself at home Lisa.” I follow behind and she picks up an empty bottle of beer and gives me a disapproving look.

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Y/n. Drinking alone, how sad are you.” Oh God if she wasn’t Dean’s girlfriend I swear to God I’d-

“Well enough of the small talk. I need to address something to you.” Ugh. What now?

“Please Lisa. Make yourself comfortable. Or you know get out of my house?” Sarcasm dripped from my lips.

“Well Y/n you’d like that wouldn’t you? You’d like if I wasn’t ever around you or Dean anymore wouldn’t you?” She raises an eyebrow as mine go up in surprise. I go to the object before she stops me.

“Don’t act like it’s a lie. I know you love him. A blind man would be able to tell. And I’m not blind. I mean you really think Dean doesn’t know either? I mean what the hell Y/n. He calls you,” She smirks, “kid. And that’s all you’ll ever be to him. A sad little puppy that follows him everywhere. I mean you followed him to his girlfriend's house after his kid brother died. Do you not see how you’re suffocating him. God Damn, you're pathetic.” I freeze, my fists clenching behind my back. I step a foot forward in anger.

“You bitch!” Lise holds up a hand stopping me from getting in her face. 

“Sweetheart think this out. Fighting Dean’s girlfriend. Come on, even you are smart enough to realize that would be a stupid idea.” I step back. She’s not wrong. 

“Did you just come here to gloat about your relationship Lisa? Because if so you made your point and can let the door smack you on the way out.” Lisa steps forward.

“Y/n that’s not the reason I came. I’m really trying to be a good friend here and give you some much needed advice.” I laugh in her face.

“Oh ya? And what exactly would that be?” Her face dead pans.

“Get the hell out of this town.” My face scrunches at her threat.

“Are you threatening me? In my own house!” She holds up her hands. “No of course not Y/n. Don’t you see it? You’re holding Dean back. Everytime he sees you he thinks of his past life, hunting, Sam. That bad life. It’s holding him back from having what he truly wants. A family. And you’re just a bad reminder of his loss of his past one.” She pats me on my back and leans into my ear.

“If you truly love him, you’ll leave him and let him be happy.”

She tightens her grip for a moment before walking to the door and opens it, about to step out before turning over her shoulder.

“Goodbye Y/n.”

Loading my last bag into the cab of my truck I step back to place the keys of the house into the mailbox for the ease of the realtor. Taking one final look at the overgrown grass that I never cut, the vines wrapping around the white exterior of the house and my last name scrawled horribly into the mailbox I moved to get into my truck.

Good bye apple pie life. I hated every second of you.

Making my way towards Dean and Lisa’s house I passed all of our neighbors houses, all the neighbors I never made the time to interact with because of a moment like this. This life would never truly be mine so why lie to myself.

Pulling up on the side of the street across from Dean’s I get out of the truck and stop in front of the house to prepare myself for what lie I’m going to tell Dean on why I’m leaving. 1. Would be that I have a friend in Montana that needs help on a hunt or 2. I’ve loved him since the moment he laughed at my stupid joke about bikers 4 years ago and if I truly love him I have to let him go so he can be happy. Even if it is with She-Devil. Ok. So definitely going with choice 1. 

I’m brought out of my thoughts by the sound of deep laughter. Dean. 

I look to the dining room window to see Dean wrapping his arms around Lisa, his head thrown back and laughter spilling out from the half opened window. A smile wraps on his face before he wraps his lips around hers. Both pulling away after a second with such love in their eyes. Ben walks into the kitchen rubbing his eyes from sleep and looks at the 2 adults in confusion before Dean grabs him into a hug pulling Lisa along with him. They stand there laughing as if nothing matters in the world. Just them. Like a family. Oh.

Turning my back on him as I make my way to my truck. Tears prick the edges of my eyes as I pull away and make it to the end of the road without turning back.

“Good bye Dean.”

Taglist- @akshi8278

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Something Held | Feeding Habits Update #8

Hi all!

Not me not realizing it’s been 3 months since I posted a Feeding Habits update hahahahahaha. Today let’s chat chapter nine, SOMETHING HELD. This also marks the last chapter in Harrison’s POV so prepare to say goodbye to this icon!  TW: body horror, mental illness, trauma

Just a reminder: This is my original work and plagiarism of any form will not be tolerated.

Scene outline, excerpts & a little reflection on making difficult decisions that my not particularly benefit the book but benefit you as the writer under the cut because this update is GIGANTIC.

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed):

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting​, @aetherwrites​

Scene Breakdown

Scene A:

It has been two weeks since Lonan found Harrison at his shared apartment with Suzanna and things are getting strange. Lonan and Suz are getting closer, Harrison is getting more distant and slowly losing it. One morning, Harrison wakes hearing Lonan and Suz’s laughter, and crawls to the kitchen to investigate. When he reaches them, Suz is evening out Lonan’s hacked haircut and they’re both sobbing.

Scene B:

Shortly after this bizarre encounter, Suzanna steps out of the apartment for a breather because her son is sort of terrifying her! So Lonan and Harrison double-team to clean up Lonan’s hair shavings. Harrison begins eating the hair while Lonan stares and they have a conversation about the state of their friendship.

Scene Ba:

This scene is gross and confusing! More hair is ingested. My god.

Scene Bb:

After the above ordeal, both boys rinse off because they’ve been rolling?? around?? in??? hair?? but also?? things don’t stop being a little gross

Scene C:

An air of calm finally settles over the apartment. Lonan brews earl grey tea for him and Harrison to share and Harrison asks if he abandoned Lonan in the final chapter of Moth Work. Lonan doesn’t really answer this question so Harrison continues on his confused, but finally lucid (one-sided) conversation, admitting he understands he burdens his mother, who still has not returned. They circle back to the question of abandonment and Lonan answers Harrison the way he wants to be answered (yes), and this is a moment of freeing, where he feels some sort of responsibility in this irresponsible new life he’s led in NYC. They sort of agree to be friends again.

Scene D:

The boys head into the city to find Suzanna, heading to a bakery near the Hudson River. Lonan drives in his used car, a strange experience since Harrison has not seen him drive in years. Taking the opportunity, he searches through the car and finds a map in the glove compartment. The map is erratically scribbled over and it takes him to moment to realize this is Lonan’s map and the first indication that Lonan, who he has assumed is this stable, perfect person, is not as unscathed as he seems.

The boys pass the waterfront and Lonan nearly crashes the car into an oncoming truck. Harrison regains control of the vehicle tucking them into a side street. Shaken, Lonan apologizes for the mess he’s created both physically from his nosebleed and between Harrison and his mother, which gets Harrison a little antsy because he doesn’t like the suggestion that he’s going to leave. Lonan clarifies, stating he won’t if that’s what Harrison wants.

Scene E:

Later, everyone is back at home and Harrison wakes up to a Lonan-less bed. He gets up to investigate the strange dripping coming from the bathroom and opens the door to find Lonan precariously teetering over a sink filled with water. Harrison, concerned, moves him away and tries to ask why Lonan is presumably going underwater, but doesn’t push. They both stand on opposite sides of the bathroom until the sun rises.

My process:

Honestly, writing this chapter was a huge up and down. The first half of it came much easier to me, but the rest was a literal hellfire to get through. I think I was incredibly fatigued with writing in Harrison’s POV as I’d been writing it since June (I finished this chapter in either December or January). This book has been a pain in the ass to write despite me liking what it is, and I really think it being the only place I’ve physically “gone” since the pandemic makes it even harder to write. I felt claustrophobic in Harrison’s POV since I’ve been writing it for half a year, and in a lil ~breakdown~ my beautiful sister reminded me of something she’d previously told me, “it's not about what works, it's about what you want”.

Let’s chat about this for a sec! I think I was watching a Harmony Nice video on her “hard-to-swallow” self-care, and she basically outline (I’m paraphrasing here) that it’s critical we care for ourselves in ways that might not necessarily be easy to do. Honestly, leaving Harrison’s POV is one of those hard-to-swallow self-care things I literally had to do because my mental health was not happy with me! Y’all know my boys are very close to me, and I’m not picking favourites but Lonan is 2500 times easier for me to write with at the moment. I think Harrison’s situation and how he deals with it is much too similar to mine but in a way that is difficult to place (Lonan and I are unfortunately similar but in a way that is easier for me to understand about myself!). From the beginning of writing his POV I’ve been in Struggleville, but kept pushing through hoping the next chapter would be “the one”. Not to burst my own bubble but there is no such thing in the state of mind I was in! I was pushing myself to find something that doesn’t exist because my brain was really not equipped to do what I needed it to do. I really, really did not want to quit on Harrison’s POV, but I had to, not because I don’t like him (he’s my baby) but because I needed a moment to myself. I felt way too seen in ways I don’t really know how to address in myself, so writing him was horribly frustrating at all times (my fault, not his).

My characters really do live in my head rent-free lol. They live in there! They take up space! They take up energy! They take up concentration, and resources I need for myself! Empathy is so integral to my process, that I give a little part of myself in everything I write. This is a blessing because I really get to dig my heels into the mind of another person, but a curse because I’m not a machine (and sometimes I forget that). It is a lot of emotional energy and labour to give everything you have to fictional people. I don’t think an artist needs to be tortured to create good art (this is not it!) but I never truly practiced this well? In my attempt to be empathetic, I was torturing myself a little bit, not going to lie!

So to combat this, I decided I needed a change. Hence, this chapter is imperfect and probably needs some stuff added to it, and while I’ve only written little of Lonan’s second POV, I’m feeling a lot better! It’s nice to get “outside” in a different place lmao this is so sad (pandemic writing things).

Excerpts:

I wrote the beginning of this in a livestream I hosted on my YouTube channel! There’s also a shoutout here to my dragon tree Lisa <3 miss u boo

Two weeks go by. Lonan sleeps on the couch. Harrison wakes up at dawn—no earlier, no later. Suzanna buys a plant: a Madagascar dragon tree she names Lisa. June grows into the collar. Lonan plays sudoku in the newspaper. Harrison learns to bake focaccia, gluten-free, whole wheat. Suzanna learns to palm read, tells Lonan he’s experienced great betrayal (they stop the reading immediately; Lonan goes back to the newspapers). Harrison begins burning incense at sunrise—frankincense. The dragon tree nearly dies (Lonan saves it). It rains every weekday that contains the letter T. Lonan shifts stacks of soggy newspapers onto the breakfast table, answers crosswords with the help of Suzanna (four across, nine letters, Something held). Harrison burns a baguette. Suzanna buys a hanging basket of pothos. The power goes out for two days and the icebox floods the kitchen tile (Lonan mops it with old newspapers, the ink running like jellyfish). June barks for the first time. Harrison eats a bundle of dried bay leaves. Suzanna waters the plants with rainwater, icewater, wrung into a coffee tin. Harrison leaves the stove on while sautéing shallots (he eats them whole). Lonan wakes up feverish and fills out four newspaper crosswords, then falls asleep on the coffee table. Suzanna moulds panna cotta in coffee mugs and shares the batch with Lonan when they won’t tip out. Lonan teaches her how to propagate the pothos and soon they have twenty empty cans of cuttings poking from the windowsills. They rearrange the furniture, the couch facing the kitchen instead of the TV, the dining table right outside the bathroom, then put it all back the next day. They birdwatch from the tiny window with binoculars and a magnifying glass. They sort coupons. Whittle soaps. Watch Norwegian films without the subtitles. Discuss cliff diving. Make matching anklets (blue beads, elastic string, the plastic clacking how Harrison knows they’re coming). All of this they do as Harrison lies on his bed for two weeks, counting the corners of his ceiling and trying to determine a way to multiply them telepathically.

This is the very next paragraph!

At first he assumes they’re laughing. The sun nearly rising between other high rises, blotting his room with dawn. This is not a surprise. They are probably making pancakes out of buckwheat and discussing the hilarity of whole grains. They are probably laughing at store-bought cherry preserves. Too sour. Their cheeks puckered. But then the laughs get louder, and the sun rises higher and it’s not laughing at all, but gasping.

Here’s Harrison crawling!! is this straight out of the exorcist probably!

Harrison’s instinct is to crawl. As if his smallness against the ground will stop anyone from hearing him, even before he unlocks his door. On hands and knees he shuffles from his bed to his doorframe, edges the door open with his shoulder. On hands and knees he hikes through the hallway, the gasping getting louder, shuffling until he sees them. Lonan sitting on one of the kitchen stools, a grocery bag wound around his throat. Suzanna clacking scissors in two hands so their blades ping in the sun. Her fingers loped around his hair, knuckle-deep, the blades snipping, the gasps growing, them both sobbing, the hair falling, the sun stalking, their bodies rocking. Harrison takes it in from his crawl. Experiences it all on his knees.

So this excerpt seems really you know, normal:

They clean up the hair. Harrison with the dustpan, Lonan with the broom. Harrison still kneels. Lonan still cries. The only thing that has changed since crawling into the kitchen is that Suzanna is taking a walk around the apartment complex. She needs air. Room. If she cries long enough, a cigarette. So Lonan sweeps. Harrison collects. This repeats.

The kitchen smells of nutmeg. Freshly grated from a whole club over espresso, Harrison imagines. He smells this as he tracks Lonan with the dustpan, hovering its open belly for clippings of hair. And Lonan is so compliant, brushes cuttings of himself onto the plastic surface so Harrison can trash it. As Harrison looks on from his knees, Lonan diffuses in sunlight, the window illuminating only his edges. A body so familiar Harrison knows exactly where it flares with light or absorbs it. A body with skin like mulberry silk. A body he could recreate in charcoal with his eyes closed. His archangel translucent and luminescing.

Skip this excerpt if you don’t want to read about Harrison eating hair!! i’m sorry!

Harrison picks a bundle of fallen hair from the dustpan. It’s airy from being recently shampooed, smells faintly of pear, maybe even ginger. This hair, touched by a woman, or a few women, and cut by one, or a few, in different contexts. Eliza’s hands deveining the roots, and then Suzanna’s, trying to fix them. So Harrison eats it. That bundle like a toothpicked cube of cheese. He puts it in his mouth and swallows.

Lonan watches like he’s unconcerned. He watches this feral animal—Harrison must be something feral, starved of something and ravaged by that hunger. Chewing mouthfuls of hair like that will quell of him of what is missing, if there even is anything missing, something unidentifiable in this bland circuit of New York City, this time-loop of sonhood, this fresh start a dousing of flatness. As Harrison eats, he understands he consumes that something like it’s holy communion, reuniting with that something by absorbing it. And still, that hunger moves him, from finishing the dustpan of hair, and closer to Lonan.

“Do you think I’m a bad friend?” Harrison asks, wringing the corner of his lips clean from loose hairs. From this perspective, Harrison on his knees collecting hair, Lonan’s eyes look bluer. Maybe their saturation has nothing to do with the angle, but Harrison feels this is true; his eyes are so crystalline, they are temptingly edible. Like two plump blueberries. Or a matching set of clear glass marbles. Harrison swallows. He repeats, “Do you think I’m a bad friend?”

Lonan swallows, adjusts his grip on the broom. “We’d have to be friends for me to answer that.”

“Aren’t we?”

And here’s the rest of this scene!

“You’re my mother’s friend,” Harrison says. “She trusts you.” He crawls closer to Lonan. “You’ve got secrets. Rituals. Tell me her favourite finger-food and who she wants to marry.”

“I don’t know your mother that well.”

Harrison wraps a handle around Lonan’s ankle. A muscle there jumps like a dolphin breaching the water. He’s memorized this plane of skin, could rebuild it from single grains of sand while blindfolded. He furls his hands across its surface, unfurls.

“You garden with her,” Harrison says. “You share a plate for dessert.”

“She’s kind to me.”

“You cook her breakfast.” Harrison tugs on Lonan’s ankle, knowing it won’t raze him, knowing he’ll come down anyway. “You know the exact temperature she drinks her coffee down to the last digit.”

“I’m trying to be hospitable.”

“You’re trying to be a son.”

Lonan kneels. Crouching so they’re huddled over each other, so it’s nearly impossible to distinguish one body from the other, which one sinks, which one rises.

“My mother’s only got one son to live with,” Harrison says, his voice thin from a clogged throat. He reaches for Lonan’s scalp, scrapes a line down the centre, now an even plane of cropped hair. “And it isn’t me.”

“You’re unstable,” Lonan says, burrowing his face either into a cabinet or Harrison’s shoulder—neither can tell. “You won’t let yourself have friends.”

Farther, toward the tile they go, a pile of hair scattering. “My mother wants me to forgive you by replacing me with you.”

“She’s grieving,” Lonan says.

Harrison loses his hands. He doesn’t know where they disappear to, if he touches skin or tile. “I haven’t died,” he says. Skin or tile. Skin or tile.

Here’s an excerpt from scene C ft. this memoir bit from the time I was shocked that this university I visited had real FANCY teabags:

Lonan brews tea. Earl grey, from a tin. Harrison doesn’t know why he expects it to come from a bag. An individual paper sachet, or if he’s lucky, one of those fancy ones woven from nylon. But it’s from a tin. Two teaspoons into the bottom of a single mug they pass back and forth, wordless at the kitchen table. Strung in the bathroom, Harrison’s t-shirt hang-dries, nearly figure-like, an unfilled phantom. He tugs a throw around his shoulders and stares at his hands. Each crest of cuticle. Each bulb of knuckle. Each maze of fingerprints.

He is material. This is fact. Not just outlines. He’s got skin that goes pinkish when pinched, a pulse that juts from his wrist, two eyes that burn at the scent of lavender, ten fingers. But as he holds his hands up, studying them in the faint moonlight, it is difficult to believe his tangibility. In the city, he has lived as a haze. Fogging over grocery stores, eateries, nondescript. Fresh start has always implied an air of zest, a zing that should have fueled him to plant roots in this restart. But Harrison is rotten, aphid infected, overwatered, underwatered, then not watered at all. He flexes his fingers. He pops the joints. He tries to press his pinkie to the back of his hand. But none of this brings him back to himself. His hands continue feeling like someone else’s. His body invisibly marred in some way he can’t reverse, disconnected in retaliation.

Harrison reflecting on his relationship with his mother:

Suzanna has never left him alone this long, and to her detriment. He imagines her now, living the life she always should’ve lived, the life she lived before he crosscut his way to her most important thing. She’s probably at a salon, having her hair twirled with a round brush, making dinner reservations at some place always too expensive for two (extra points if it has a French name, more if she has to wait a half hour before getting a table). When she talks to her stylist, she doesn’t mention a son, but plans to travel up the west coast, all the way into Canada if she’s feeling adventurous. She’ll buy crime novels she’ll never read at duty-free, reapply a lipstick that cost her a paycheck in the reflection of a hand-dryer. After the salon, she’ll meet a woman at a wine bar, converse about children, and still not mention a son. Suzanna’s singleness will be a celebration.

The boys finally trucing it out <3

When Harrison finally opens his eyes, Lonan is staring at him. His eyes two reels of the Pacific. They cycle in blue. So much of him has changed, and yet he is still the same. Beyond the haircut, Lonan isn’t that much different. He can’t be much different. But as Harrison searches, splaying his palm on the wet table, he knows this is untrue. Lonan is hollower than he was last summer. A little more haunted. They have this in common, then.

“Can we be friends?” Harrison asks. With his pinkie, he finds himself writing against the damp table just as he did Lonan’s scalp not too long ago. Lonan’s gaze follows each loop of each letter, Harrison’s steady left hand.

Lonan is consumed studying what Harrison has written, where each letter connects in near-cursive scrawl. After a moment, he nods, once, twice, and then reverts to staring at the table’s new inscription. On its surface are two words: something held.

The boys in the car like old times <3

Lonan drives. This is strange because Harrison has not seen Lonan drive a car in over a year. Usually, Harrison takes the wheel, but tonight he guides them through the city, in search of Suzanna. His car is clean. This isn’t unexpected. A cherry-coloured hatchback that rattles whenever he makes a left turn. It smells vaguely of cotton air-freshener and the undercurrent of cigarettes.

“You still smoke?” Harrison pokes at the plastic nob for the radio, and it crackles to life. Synth and electric guitar pulse in 4/4 time.

“I bought it used.”

They’ve agreed to get to know one another while they search for Suzanna. Another restart, some attempt at an honest hour. As Lonan changes lanes, Harrison pokes open the car’s glove compartment. A tin of nicotine gum falls on the mat. A hot pink feather pokes from underneath the driver’s manual. Harrison hauls out both, runs the feather along the gum tin, then the back of his hand, and then Lonan’s cheek. When that rouses nothing, he unlocks the tin and removes a slit of gum. Right as he’s about to pop it in his mouth, Lonan says, “I wouldn’t eat that.”

“Why?” Harrison asks. “Did you lace it?”

“Like I said, I bought the car used.”

Harrison puts the gum back, and then the feather. He sticks his hand farther into the glove compartment, feels around until he drags out a map of the state, bilgy and half torn. He unfolds it, careful to avoid the rips, and flattens it against the dashboard. Almost immediately, it wilts against the cold, faded from time in the sun. It’s been marked up. Half with pencil, half with a red ballpoint pen. After a few minutes, Harrison understands the previous owner’s route. Or at least he does at first. Following the red pen arrows, they started at Long Island, then reached Manhattan. Then a much longer arrow takes him from Manhattan to Geneva, and then Buffalo. And then the red pen circles, once, twice, three times, four times, and what is in the centre doesn’t even have a city name. What it does say is HELP, in all-caps, each letter then melting into an illegible scrawl. Harrison sees bits of words: Luke, woe, hands, clay, guard, stray, each wobbly and disappearing into the other, becoming cities of their own, destroying others. He tries to understand the route, but the farther he pours over the map, recircling each line with his finger, the more lost he gets in the ink.

“Is this your map?” Harrison asks. There is no proof that it is. Even the handwriting is all wrong. Ragged. Confused. Desperate. Not like Lonan’s careful, hesitant print.

“Like I said, I bought the car used.”

“But is it your map?” Harrison asks again. Gently, he creases the paper and then slots it back into the glove compartment. Outside, they pass three convenience stores in a row, a flock of couples emerging from a bowling alley, tipsy and cradling leftover deep dish pizzas and mozzarella sticks. They pass two more convenience stores before Lonan finally answers.

“I was confused,” he says.

“This is more than confused,” Harrison says. “It’s disturbed.”

“I’m not disturbed.”

“But something is wrong with you.”

Lonan slows at a crosswalk. A group of teenaged girls whisk by in glitter and lip gloss.

“Yes,” he says.

This is Harrison trying to stop Lonan’s nosebleed after their bizarre swerve which I think is kind of <3 tendy <3

Harrison reaches for him. One hand on the back of his neck, and the other reared toward the red stream. His touch is tactful, so faint his fingerprints wouldn’t even be left behind, but still, the dabbing with his jacket’s hem is enough to redirect the blood’s flow from Lonan’s upper lip to the cuff of leather. The radio is still on, garbled like an unmassing of crepe paper lanterns.

This is the final excerpt for this update that takes us to the very end of the chapter! Harrison has just found Lonan supposedly head-first in the sink and though he asks at first why he is doing that, takes an alternate approach as the chapter closes:

Harrison gets up, his knees popping like gnawed bubble gum. He decides he will handle Lonan at a distance, if he chooses to handle him at all. Like a timid pet owner trying to tame their suddenly-rabid yorkie. Like a friend not trying to tip the full glass. To let its contents film at its surface, but never spill.

Somewhere in the apartment, Suzanna probably listens to them. If Harrison didn’t know her better, he’d imagine her pressed neatly against the door, waiting to hear the shuffle of their bodies or the tang of an argument. Instead, he imagines her at the kitchen table, gripping a glass of water for so long, half of it evaporates.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Harrison says, stepping back until his spine hits the counter’s lip. He curls his fingers under the granite. Looks toward the window, now a faint periwinkle. Lonan heaves. His fingers caging his face, an animal restrained. They stand there until the sun rises.

So that’s it for this gigantic update! I have like four short stories to update you on so I hope to be back soon!

—Rachel

[marchioness-caprina]

Swapped

{ Part 3 }

Read ; {Part 1} , { Part 2}

Pairings : Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Warnings : Cussing

Writing style : 3rd Person

Word Count 1843

3rd Person's POV

" I thought we were going out to patrol again" Uraraka muttered and a majority of the class nodded in agreement.

They were supposedly going to the agencies they were training under to do their daily rounds of patrol but a sudden shift of their schedule got all of them gathered in Ground Beta for another suprise Physical Test Exercise.

" You were supposed to but unfortunately; a Villain attack happened near the train station and it caused damage on the tracks. It won't be fixed until Tomorrow. Meaning you're all stuck here doing 'Kiddy stuff' " Aizawa replied in his usual bored tone; hands buried inside his pockets as his shoulders sagged. The dark circle under his eyes were clear indication that he didn't get any sleep last night.

" Aww But sens--"

" Stop complaining. If you wanna be a Hero then you got to take it slow, Don't rush things. Plus... You don't see me complaining when I have to put up with all of you... " Aizawa Cut Sato off as he rubbed his temples " And dealing with all of you is not an easy job" He grumbled the last part and everyone picked up on his mood and just shut up.

" So... What exercise are we supposed to be doing today? " Momo questioned and everyone seemed to be interested in what their te aver had in store for them.

They were up for anything. As long as the penalty isn't an expulsion, the fear of their first day with their teacher still struck everyone with fear knowing how ruthless he could be.

" It's simple... Android Bots " Aizawa called out and from the entrance; loud stomping noises were heard, the stomping wasn't from just one but an army of Robots came marching out of ye entrance, stomping their metallic foot with in perfect harmony.

" Woah! "

Gasps of awe were heard from a few students as they stared at the bots with wonder.

" Let me guess... We're gonna be facing those junks here? " Y/n stated in a matter of fact. Katsuki who was right behind the female with arms wrapped around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder just gave off a satisfied humm when y/n placed her hand ontop of Katsuki's own.

Aizawa who was too tired to give a sassy remark to his student's comment just nodded; and he won't even point out Bakugou's Clingyness seeing how the boy had reacted yesterday when he told him to minimize his Skinship with y/n. It didn't end well.

" This ain't cutting shit. Knowing you... There's a twist to this crappy test right? " Y/n countered and with a sigh Aizawa began to explain ;

" You're right Miss smarty pants. There's a twist. You guys will be judged individually, these bots can't do much damage but the bombs inside them are the ones you need to watch out for, if you destroy a Bot directly without dismantling the bombs first then... Of course you go Kaboom " Everyone flinched at Their Teacher's explanation especially with how nonchalantly he is as he did so.

" Ehhh!? B-but sensei... Isn't it a little bit too.... Cruel? " Mina interjected and aizawa shook his head.

" As a hero. You must always be prepared of every possible scenarios and surprises. Such as this, of course there are subtle indications whether a bot has a bomb or not.... So you gotta put your observational skills to good use and put that brain of yours to work. Spot the difference, dismantle the bomb and you're free to destroy it... Simple as that " Aizawa yawned as he waved off his student's shocked and terrified expression.

Everyone knew their team her isn't going to give them any more clues.

" He just wants to see us suffer.... " Jiro dead panned and everyone couldn't help but agree.

" You said we'll be graded individually.... So you're saying that we have to take out loud portions of those robots ourselves?" Y/n raised a brow when her sensei gave her a spine chilling smile.

" Yes, that's also part of the lesson. It's not everyday you'd get lucky to have another Hero to he paired with you... Sometimes you gotta work alone and most of the time The villain's you're gonna be facing won't be alone. So multi-tasking is the key... And since you're my 'favorite' student... You'll go first " Aizawa pointed at her lazily and she shot him a gentle smile.

A smile that seemed too gentle for this y/n to pull off. Something wasn't right with the way she smiled and everyone knew it.

" But... She might get hurt... I'll stay with her" Katsuki murmured tightening his hold around the girl.

" What? You think I can't handle myself? Get off me already loser. I need to release some stress and you're getting in the way. " Y/n without thinking much of how bad her words had affected Katsuki grinned as she pushed him off her roughly.

Katsuki tumbled back and he looked at her with a pained expression.

" Y-you think I'm a--"

" Get him outta here. He's fucking up my mood. " Y/n snapped as she jogged away from the group.

Katsuki who was fast to try and run up to her was pulled back by aizawa's scarf like fabric.

" Let her go Bakugou. "

" No! I Need Her! Y/n! " Bakugou whined and he had to be knocked out because he was starting to get aggressive.

"Everyone. To the Control room" Aizawa groaned and his students followed his command but go course they felt sorry for their classmate who was passed out cold.

_____________________

" Fucking Die! Hahahaha "

Everyone was silent as they stared at the screen; gawking at how monstrous their classmate could be. Was that even y/n? Because that screaming creature murdering those innocent robots while crushing them to pieces reducing them to junk was scarier than any villain they have ever seen.

" ..... Remind me to never piss y/n....ever" Kirishima gulped when 10 robots were sent flying off the ground with the girl wildly swinging a metal pole like a mad man continued her assault.

" S-she's doing a very accurate job at controlling that new quirk of hers though " Kaminari mumbled as he began thinking.

" But... That is not the opposite of her quirk... Unless.... Oh could it be? The quirk she has is a combined and mixture of mine and Bakugou's quirk ... I underestimated that villain's quirk " Kaminari began to mumble his thoughts out loud and it didn't go unnoticed.

" Well... What do we even call that quirk? "

Kaminari paused and gave a nod towards Uraraka " I suggest Electrical Combustion would fit the spunk" .

" She's doing a tad too good don't you think? "

" She's y/n. So it's no wonder "

___________________

Y/n slammed both of her hands on the ground creating an electrical current as well as a loud eruption of explosion to ensue underground sending the both flying before being completely engulfed and destroyed by either the flying debris, the roasting electricity or the destructive explosion.

With fluid like movement she shot out explosive electric bombs out of her palm that violently detonated when it came in contact with the robots.

She didn't have to worry about the exploding bombs inside the boys because she herself was more explosive than all of those bombs combined.

Her movements were accurate, powerful and spontaneous but her eyes showed how calculated and focused she was if people would ignore that sadistic grin spread out on her face.

She was merciless and with one final punch of the ground that sent a combined jolt of electricity and explosion that caused a mass breakage the fight was over. With no bots left standing at all.

The area was crumbling with ruined buildings and flying rocks and debris mixed with chunks of broken metal.

" Ahh... That hit the fucking spot " She grinned stretching her limbs after her little 'workout'

Meanwhile ------

Everyone was speechless at the display of power of their classmate. She was far too ruthless and she looked more like a villain---no monster from the screen.

And if you squint really hard earlier the students could see how the bots were running away from her instead of actually attacking her.

Y/n gained both the respect and fear of everyone after that bit of course they admired her for her brilliant performance meaning they didn't have to do the test because she destroyed all the bots in a blink of an eye.

" That..... Was so Manly! " Kirishima cheered and his cheer was joined by everyone else.

" Man! Who knew she knows some pretty sweet moves like that! I should ask her to teach me a few of those moves! " Sero commented punching the air.

" Well if you ask me that was rather terrifying.... The continuous onslaught of those poor robots was enough to petrify me for eternity. Not to mention she left us with nothing at all! " Iida sighed as he pushed his glasses up.

" Jeez, loosen up. She did all of us a favor " Jiro replied placing her hand on the slightly disappointed Iida.

Izuku on the side was vigorously writing down on his notebook with such intensity it made everyone pause for a moment to look at him; no doubt about it. He was taking notes about y/n.

Everyone was happy and Aizawa looked more like a proud father than an angry teacher.

But the same couldn't be said for Katsuki. He was sulking in the corner. Eyes dull and fists balled.

The little demon called jealousy was beginning to creep up again. He remembered the other day about Y/n wanting to be partners with Deku or Half and Half. And now that everyone saw how amazing his Girlfriend is, it made him sink deeper as his own insecurities began to swallow him whole.

" .... Do I even... Deserve her? " He mumbled to himself. Tears were already rolling down his cheeks while he pitifully sniffled.

His classmates were gazing at him. They looked inside of what they should do. They still couldn't get used to this new Katsuki.

Kirishima was about to approach and comfort his friend when suddenly Katsuki's body jolted from his spot before collapsing on the ground.

" Bakugou! " Kirishima exclaimed but another gasp was heard from the back.

" It's Y/n-san and Kaminari-san! " Izuku pointed out. Jiro was holding onto an unconscious Kaminari with the help of Tsuyu and on the screen it was pretty clear that y/n had also experienced the same thing and was now sprawled down on the ground.

Unmoving .

........ To be Continued.

[mikkaeus]

lessons from 1000 hours of tutoring high school kids - a letter to my past self

not all those hours were maths, but this is about maths

Not in order of importance; in the order they came to my head. 

1. Do not trust a kid when they say that they understand something. They understand jack shit. Make them explain it back to you. 

2. When teaching sth new try to prod them to reaching the conclusion themselves instead of just straight up explaining it, if time permits. 

3. Things I have assumed and have been sorely mistaken:

a) If an area is identified to be an issue in the lesson, the kid will go and do some questions and revise themselves to fix it.

b) Kids take notes. (I’m still kicking myself for only realising this more than 6 months in with this kid. I get paid too much to be making stupid mistakes like this.)

c) Kids know how to take notes. (Session 1: Take notes, here is a detailed outline that you can then expand on with examples and stuff. Session 2: The kid has copied my scaffold word for word and not expanded anything on it. Me: You need to actually EXPLAIN how to complete the square for example, not just write “completing the square”. Kid: Okay yeah I get it. Session 3: For each topic he’s googled an explanation and copied entire paragraphs word for word, because he “thought they’d phrase it better than him”. He’s using terminology that I 100% guarantee he does not understand at all. I now understand why high school teachers always said use your own words when making notes - something that I had always thought should be blindingly obvious to everyone.)

4. Not everyone is as obsessed with not making mistakes or not being able to solve problems are you are. (For these kids, being stumped at a difficult question isn’t the end of the world.) They think a question ends at figuring out the answer, whether that be from the help of a textbook, the solutions, their friend, or me. You need to impress upon them that it doesn’t matter what the answer is! It’s about what you learn from the question. How was the way they were thinking about the question incorrect? How can they avoid this in the future? What general advice can they give themselves? And then they need to actually commit to reducing incidences of the same mistake in the future. Some kids I’ve been giving the same damn advice to every problem they get stuck on, and magically they can solve it after I give them the advice. Just remember the general advice!! You’re spending all this time studying but you’re running into the same wall over and over again instead of remembering to take the rope out of your bag. I’m not magic! I’m just sitting here reminding you that there IS a rope in your bag!!  (Not that my method of angry scribbling in red pen across my working and writing that I’m a fucking idiot is something I’d actually recommend, but they could definitely afford to be less laissez-faire about learning from their mistakes.)

5. Actually make good notes during the session; otherwise, the kids probably retain nothing. It is kinda awkward to be sitting there writing away but it is a necessarily evil. Also, you can write while they’re chipping away at a question themselves, and that way you don’t need to be watching them like a hawk while they do algebra painfully slowly. (I feel like kids make more mistakes in sessions than they do normally.) 

6. The key to being able to solve a problem is believing that you CAN solve the problem. I’ve been saying this a lot recently - if you follow the rules for maths, there’s no reason it should be wrong - when I have Year 11s and 12s asking me every step of simple algebra if something is correct, or asking whether you’re allowed to do something, and I ask them, “what do you think?” and they reply, “I don’t know.” (Related: Another thing I’ve been saying a lot is that algebra is about doing the same thing to both sides. They just think it’s magic!) Anyway, I brought this up because of problem solving questions actually, not basic algebra. Of course, you can teach them how to break down the question, or general processes like “if you don’t have enough information, go back and check you’ve used everything in the question”, but all that’s useless if they don’t believe that they can solve it by themselves. That means

a) You need to actually encourage them. Even though you’re not a... fluffy or particularly inspiring person, just try. 

b) YOU need to believe that they can do it too. Think of the number of times you’ve been shocked that some kid managed to make a leap of logic you thought was beyond them. Kids are better than you think (and also worse than you think, but we’ve already talked at length about that). 

7. It’s most of the time more beneficial to force the kid to go through the expanded version of the working instead of the abbreviated version. They’re not you, trying to economise as much as possible on working to save precious seconds for rechecking at the end. Don’t push that obsession onto them when their goals and skill level is completely different. Especially if they’re:

a) making silly mistakes

b) not understanding why something works and just following the pattern for a specific context, and then being completely lost in another context. (eg. not being able to use the null factor law for when the factors weren’t linear with a gradient of 1, because they always skipped straight to x= instead of actually writing out each factor equalling zero, and then rearranging). 

8. Stop lecturing for too long. Make sure you’re writing stuff down, not only for the purpose of notes for them to look at later, but because not everyone’s good with auditory learning (you’re one of those people! and yet you subject others to the same shit you rant about out length about your professors!). Make them do work through a problem or part of a problem or ask them questions or something. 

9. A lot of kids do not know how to study properly. A few important things:

a) Do not automatically look back at past questions when solving a Q. You need to treat every question as completely new, and only look back if you’re stuck. That way you force active recall every question and thus making sure you’re actually remembering what the process is. You don’t get any worked examples in your exam. 

b) I do not know how this is every single fucking kid but knowing how to use your dang calculator saves lives!! It’s literally 50% of your grade and you’re sitting there two days before your exam struggling to graph a parabola??? After all the hours you poured into studying the content? Yes your calculators are gross and unfriendly but they’re your best friend. Not only should you know how to use them, you should be fast at using them, and you should know everything it can do that could be remotely helpful. 

c) Sit full exam papers under exam conditions. That shit is like gold and kids are piddling it away by just leisurely working through one question at a time with the help of their textbook (and me). 

d) Print out the formula sheet, and use it. Know what’s on there and what’s not. 

I don’t know if this is a pretty standard experience for people with a track record of excellent academic results* (by this I mean just assuming some things are obvious to everyone) or if I’m particularly bad because I’ve always only interacted with a very narrow range of people. anyway feels fucking bad for my kids but. im trying. god knows ive come a long way since i first started.

*or as I prefer to state it, a track record of being a huge fucking nerd

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hi, I love your blog! Can I request a cake, if you’re still doing them? It’s fine if you’re not though.

If you are, can you do it for a boy? I’m generally considered tall (I’m 5’7”) and I have really curly brown hair with green eyes and really pale skin. I’m Irish-American and I’m an Aries. My hobbies are; photography, reading thriller or historical fiction novels, writing fanfiction, and listening to music (specifically punk rock or really obnoxiously loud Irish rock). I’m quite shy when it comes to new situations or places and I have an anxiety disorder, so I’m usually quite anxious and generally considered quiet (which makes my music choices ironic). Before people get to know me, people think I’m a b*tch or that I’m cold because I tend to stick with the same people and not generally talk to others unless I’m forced. Even my friends have said they thought I was mean before they actually met me. I can be pessimistic at times, but I care about the people I’m really close with and I’ll defend them no matter the situation. I can be annoying, I overthink everything, and I am insecure about literally anything and everything about myself (from my body to my writing)

I’m generally considered one of the smarter ones in my friend group, usually my friends come to me when it comes to writing essays or having to read a book for class, since I’m good at analyzing things. I’m the friend that usually everyone tries to protect from things, from fear that I might “break” or something like that, which can be annoying but I know it means that they care. Though I would prefer that people be straight forward and honest with me instead of walk on eggshells or keep secrets, because contrary to popular belief, I can defend myself just fine. My friends say I have a hard time letting people in since I don’t want to end up hurt, so I have a tendency to keep people at arms length because I’m afraid to have my heart broken.

I don’t know if that’s enough information or if I over-shared (I have a tendency to do that), but if you are still accepting these kinds of requests, I hope this is enough.

🍰 for @lifewouldbebetteronmars

Hello my Aries sister!!!!

Romantic Matchup

Tsukishima Kei

How yall met

Ok be prepared to be shocked

But Tsukki needed a tutor

He was having a difficult time understanding the new topic they were doing in class

So the teacher recommended you as a partial tutor

At first he didn't really like you

It really wasn't anything you did

He just hated that he needed someone else's help

And he was kinda embarrassed about it

But as time went on he started to warm up to you

Some could even say he looked forward to your tutoring sessions

So when he didn't need you to teach him anymore

He tried to find excuses to hang out with you

He's just too prideful to say that he likes you and wants to hang out with you

And even though you knew that was probably the case

You didn't want to call him out like that

So you would just hang out with him whenever you could

And the bond between you two grew with every passing day

And eventually you guys started dating

What they love about you

He loves how intelligent you are

Tsukki is pretty smart himself

So if he thinks that your smart

Bb you're a genius

And although he resented your smarts when he first met you

He's come to realize it's one of your most admirable traits

He loves how you care so deeply for your loved ones

He knows you would do anything and everything for him

But he also knows you would do the same thing when it comes to any of your friends and family

Like he's literally seen you telling off somebody for picking on one of your friends

He made a mental note to be careful who he picks on that day

He loves how straightforward you are

Ok so this is Tsukki were talking about

He doesn't really like overcomplicated people or people he can't understand

And you are anything but that

Tsukki can read you like a book

Maybe its because hes spent a lot of time with you

Maybe it's because he pays more attention to you than other people

The world may never know

What you love about them

You love how he doesnt try to “protect you”

Now don't get me wrong

Tsukki would take a bullet for you if it ever came down to it

But he knows for the most part you can take care of yourself

So unless you specifically ask for help hell leave you be

You love that he understands your limitations

Tsukki knows you have anxiety

So he tries to make social exchanges as comfortable as possible

If he notices that your uncomfortable talking to someone

He’ll swoop in and remove you from the situation

However...

He tries to get you to step out of your comfort zone from time to time

He knows just as well as you do that being social is just apart of life

And he doesn't want you do always be dependent on him when it comes to being social

So he just gives you little nudges

Until eventually its like your anxiety never even existed

Favorite things to do together

STUDY DATES!!!!!!

Ahem anyways

Mans loves to have a good study date with you

It's really just you two doing homework and reading together

But he loves those little intimate moments with you

Late night walks

You guys take late night walks ALL the time

Once again it's nothing more than just walking round and listening to music

But Tsukki finds comfort in your presence during these times

Random Hc

The team was very very shocked when they found out you were Tsukkis gf

Like Tsukki + a relationship = error

Definitely got bombarded with questions when you met the team

He keeps some of the photos you've taken in a little box in his room

He proofreads all of your fanfics

One time it was your turn to pick the music for a study date

He was very shocked when hard core irish rock started playing…

When you guys first met there were a lot of moments when you just stared at eachother like

Because you didn't know how to talk to each other

Sometimes he acts like he doesn't know something just so he can be around you

Astrology

Aries + Libra

Compatibility 62%

However difficult it might be to reconcile these two natures, remember that this is a primal opposition that represents partners by signification.

Aries and Libra are the couple of the zodiac, as much as any other opposing signs, for they are each other’s seventh house, house of relationships.

Even more so if we acknowledge the fact that Libra is the sign of relationships in general.

Any problem they might have with each other is something to be worked on, because it shows what their personal problem with any relationship is.

When they are madly attracted to each other and fall in love, there is almost nothing that could separate them, no matter the differences.

Wouldn’t we all like to find the middle ground with our loved one? They need to work on their bond, that’s a fact, but their relationship is a promise of a perfect fit of two souls meant to be together.

Friendship Matchup

Tendou Satori

How yall met

You guys have been friends since middle school

You saw how other people treated him and you just didn't think it was right

So you befriended him!

You guys were attached at the hip all throughout middle school

Then he left for highschool while you stayed in middle school

Then when it was your turn to go to high school you had went to karasuno

So you guys lost touch

But then one day you saw a familiar head of red hair at one of your boyfriends matches…

It was Satori!

You were so excited to see him again that you practically sprinted over to him to reunite

He was so happy to see you again!

Ngl the entire Karasuno team was very confused on how you knew the guess monster of Shiratorizawa

Why you became friends

Like I said you saw how people treated him all throughout middle school…

So even though you were 2 years younger than him

You decided to befriend him

He was shocked by your kindness

And honestly a little hesitant

It wouldn't be the first time someone pretended to be his friend just to stab him in the back later

But for some reason he thought you were different

So he became friends with you

He was super sad when he lost contact with you :(

He always thought about how you were doing

But hey fate decided to bring you two together again

And it was like nothing changed

You both still had the same strong connection you had way back in middle school

What yall love about each other

He loves how out there you can be

Like there was a time where you two just blasted music in a park and just were dancing and vibing

He loves how your able to channel your creativity into your photography

He compliments every picture you take

Even if it's not a good one

He loves that how you look vs how you act are two totally different things

He won't lie to you you definitely have RBF Syndrome

(resting bitch face syndrome)

It almost reminds him how ushiwaka looks

But the difference is behind you rbf is a generally warm person

You love how fun Satori is!

Moments with him are always filled with laughs

Never a dull moment with that one

You love that he does not allow what others say get to him

Oh and on the days they do

Your right there to pick him back up and get him back to normal

Overall you guys love that you can depend on each other

Random Hc

Tsukki felt a little intimidated when he found out satori was your friend

Their rivalry during their game may or may not have had something to do with you…

You guys had homemade friendship bracelets as kids

And he kept his in his room even after you lost touch

Ironically enough he WILL NOT allow you to be insecure

He's like Insecurities we don't know her ❤️

Astrology

Aries + Libra

A friendship between an Aries and a Libra brings in the inherent polarity of the Zodiac itself.

The constellations of Aries and Libra lie opposite to each other in the Zodiac, at an angle of 180 degrees between them.

This polarity is displayed in their characteristic traits as well. Each sign has qualities that the other sign lacks.

Add to it the fact that Librans have a natural desire to be harmonious, and Aries and Libra form a relationship of great equilibrium.

The polarity of Aries and Libra could be described as self versus other.

But the differences go much further than that. Aries are impulsive, excitable, and willing to jump into things immediately.

Libra are indecisive, peace loving, and prefer a calm, quiet view of everything.

Star signs with opposite polarity often share a zealous relationship with each other.

In general, polar alliances turn out awesome when they are good, but rather challenging when they are bad.

Polarities could twist and knot together if the signs didn’t understand each other well.

However, Aries and Libra are a well balanced pair.

Libra are charming, well cultured, and have pleasing manners that could compensate for the brazen nature of Aries.

On the other hand, Aries are strong willed and decisive, which could compensate for the irresolute nature of Libra.

Aries could help Libra reach resolutions more easily and make them more spontaneous.

Libra could, at times, show Aries that they are not always as right as they think they are.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

tl;dr political rant post:

it had been my goal from 12 years old to do an arts degree in philosophy (yes what a nerd- thanks to my dad playing a Great Courses philosophy dvd one morning in 2007 and my dad always taking me to the botanic gardens/the uni some weekends).

i graduated from my arts degree in 2018, with a major in english and a minor in philosophy. i was so, so lucky to even get into my communications & media degree (at first i was originally going to do marketing communications, advertising & PR)... but i realised that i was not made for business subjects- despite my mark101 tutor telling me she thought i had knack for marketing- something under this policy that i wouldn’t undertake due to the price hike for commerce/business degrees. nor was i made for a media degree. so i changed to arts & humanities.

although under this atrocious policy, english subjects are made “cheaper”- why on fucking should the rest of someone’s arts/humanities degree be so much more expensive, all depending on the fields they choose???? so you’re telling me, if i was instead to enter undergrad this year to do my english degree... that my english major would be subsidised, but my philosophy minor would be at double the cost (along with the few first year business and communications&media subjects i did), unless i forced myself to pick maths or science subjects that i would most definitely fail, no matter how much work i’d put into them??? or there’s languages- but much like maths/science- there’s the problem with my handwriting that stopped me trying french and even japanese (ironically, since it’s know for its ~painstakingly neat and orderly~ script- but my handwriting is still messy, disorderly and confusing asf).

*please note that most of this next section is just me being highly spurious and cynical. it’d probably work out fine*

but you’re also telling me that under this policy that i’d also probably have to forego my reasonable adjustments in those subjects (yes i still have trouble with my handwriting to this day) mostly because a lot of software still won’t let you write out maths problems properly or i’d have to spend twice as long trying to get a graph to work in excel or idek matlab (please teach me maths nerds)???? and most maths working out is probably better handwritten or whatever??? and that’s besides the point that i still can’t use excel at all 😂.

so with these classes then, would i be battling from day one of first year with professors to let me use a computer during exam periods (unless of course they use online/take home exam methods like philosophy)???? probably (im being very suspicious here because i don’t know how science/maths etc faculties work).

although i did get this once with one particular english professor; who used the excuse that he didn’t know how to set a computer up for exams because he had been on “sabatical for 4 years” or whatever and so “didn’t know the policies anymore”.... so then according to him it was apparently “the students job to do it.... especially since you’re in third year, miss williams”..... however, i was promptly then told by EVERY uni offical that i approached for help to do it for me.... and my other professors across my course that had done it for me, that it was in fact the PROFESSORS job/responsibility to set it up, and not the student’s??? like. help your students fuckwit professor grant??? honestly. anyway. aside from my personal struggles in the english department: let’s proceed. (this was a real incident btw).

would i be at a significant disadvantage to other students by not being able to use a computer during maths exams or science exams because of the drawing of diagrams and graphs and “showing your working”???? hell yes. would i want the professors in that department to probably condescendingly telling me all the time to “present my work neater and more precisely”? FUCK NO. it’s exactly why i avoided every maths and science subject in undergrad- even including the astronomy subject that i wanted to do- because it also meant that fellow students had to read my handwriting for practicals etc as well, that i wasn’t entirely keen on either. but i did not need the harsh reminders of “be more precise and infallible in your work presentation” that i’d had at school constantly for 11 years of maths lessons; affecting my mental health and performance in a subject during a uni semester.

moreover, that’s besides the fact that i’d flat out fail the “year 12 band 4 maths” requirements- unless they want to waive those- for first year maths/science subjects (at least basing it on my local uni).... considering that i actually skipped out on maths completely in year 12 by doing a TVET/tafe/technical college course in live theatre, production and events (which no surprises here, actually included maths anyway 😅).

because, fuck. is ANYONE seeing a trend in my study choices here? hell, i almost did a commerce/business dual degree with a tafe diploma in event management for crying out fucking loud. and you’re telling me that’s also doubled in price?? it’s obvious that i was interested in the arts & humanities and business subjects from the get-go. but under this policy- i’d be charged double for having my interest in event management, instead of say, biology (which is a subject that if it weren’t for mark scaling in my final hsc exam- i would have failed completely)??? utterly ridiculous.

i even contemplated doing a double degree with law at one point (or doing a legal studies major/minor- which is now a course at my local uni, but was not while i was there). however, law course fees have also doubled under this new policy. leaving that out of reach for me, despite that a double degree with law was out of reach for me anyway..... since my mark average was 65% and not at least 75% lol. but as if those marks averages will actually matter under this new policy.

under this bullshit policy, i’d be forced to take science/maths or even teaching (another field i had to avoid, since people can’t read my writing on a whiteboard from a distance half the time either.... besides the fact that i’m not really the ~teacher type~) subjects- all so that my degree price overall will be ”reduced”..... meaning that i would have to trade out my philosophy minor for something in maths/teaching/science (or maybe creative arts- since those fees stayed the same roughly)... instead of sticking to what i was good at: philosophy and other humanities/social science fields like sociology and history????

i understand that many people will snub me with saying “oh why did you even BOTHER going to uni if you were THAT indecisive about what you wanted to do?” which is something i’ve seen many older people saying on posts about this policy. but hell, i was 19 FUCKING YEARS OLD WHEN I STARTED UNI, FOR GODS SAKE. OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO BE FUCKING INDECISIVE ABOUT MY DIRECTION IN LIFE! because, newsflash fuckwits: not everyone has a defined career goal at 19. hell, i still don’t have one at almost 25..... since i’ll admit here, that i flunked out of my postgrad library course.... because i realised that i simply couldn’t cope with learning simple HTML, CSS and javascript coding for website design & user experience design 😂 (again help me computer wiz friends). yes, believe it or not, librarians have to know that today. and most people think that it’s just all about books (okay that was me, but i was wrong). also, if you’re wondering: postgrad library courses aren’t affected, thank god. but my point is, aren’t we meant to fuck up and pick the wrong things in life sometimes??? aren’t we meant to be indecisive about our choices in our late teens up until our mid 20s???

but now you’re telling students that their very first year of uni is practically set out for them, even for arts/humanities degrees (im not counting properly prescribed degrees such as engineering/science/communications & media (they had prescribed majors and prescribed first year subjects, which is why i left it. because i felt trapped in the prescribed marketing et al major etc); all because the government is telling them that “oh to make your first year cheaper: (A.) get good marks.... so that we don’t cancel your HECS place and (B.) pick subjects outside of the arts/humanities like science/maths/tech related subjects so that you don’t pay a whopping $14,500 for your first year of uni and will be more likely to be “job ready”. whatever the actual fuck “job ready” really means. and this all as if there ISN’T enough pressure for a 18/19 year old to succeed in their first year of uni already.

although, the one thing i’ll say is that my one year advanced diploma in marketing that i did in 2014, was $16,500. i still haven’t made any moves to pay it off. but it was constantly in the back of my mind during uni, both undergrad and postgrad. it was there as a reminder to pick cheaper subjects, so as to not greatly increase my combined hecs debt and vet-fee help debt; which is now sitting at $42,500. which under this new policy is the new price of ONE arts & humanities undergrad degree. i’d hate to be going into uni next year at 19 years old (or any age really) with that price tag on my degree.

anyway. that’s the end of my non-sensical rant. morrison and the rest of the libs etc can go fuck themselves.

[too-attached-to-fiction]

Worm Your Way Into My Heart

Part 2 of the Found Home series

Summary:            

Logan offers to take care of the twins when their parents are out of town. Virgil isn't sure what to think.

Notes:    

Finally back on my bullshit again! Hi everyone. I know the last one didn't get too much attention but I'm so grateful for the few readers it got, and I'm excited to keep writing for this series. Most of them are just going to be one-shots in this universe because I didn't want to have an update schedule.... but I hope you enjoy reading them! I've been pushing myself to make these longer and I'm really proud of the outcome.

also: i live for Thomas talking about his two dads-

Nox

~~~    

  Logan and Virgil had heard of the Michaels long before they met them through the kids.

 Eleanor Beck and Levi Michaels were widely known at Michigan State. Virgil had once groaned to Logan that they were “almost too perfect to exist”. Levi got the main role in nearly every play the university held in the four years he attended. Eleanor often played the roles opposite Levi, though on occasion, she would be in the orchestra pit playing the piano.

 Somehow, they were the popular kids among the theater geeks. They’d been the ones that went straight to New York on trust funds, but their house was only a few blocks away from Virgil’s childhood home. The Sanders didn’t even know that the Michaels had returned until they sent an invite for dinner.

 Thomas had befriended the Michaels twins on the first day of preschool, but they never saw each other outside of school. Despite being their current kindergarten teacher, Logan wasn’t even sure who the twins’ parents were. When he called home regarding Remus’s behavior, he often only reached their voicemail or Joanne, the main housekeeper.

 “Mister Logan!” Remus and Roman ran up to him one afternoon during pick-up. Thomas was not far behind them, as always. “Our mommy and daddy want you to come over for dinner with Thomas and your wife!”

 Logan was about to correct them when Thomas spoke up, stomping his foot. “I      told     you, I have a Dad and a Papa. I don’t have a mommy.”

 “You have to have a mommy to have a baby.” Remus pointed out.

 “Well, Papa says I’m a-dop-ted.” Thomas said, flubbing the last word, and Logan fought the urge to laugh.

 “I’d need to talk to your parents if you want us over for dinner, though.” Logan said, trying to keep a straight face. “Do you have a way I can talk to them?”

 “They’re here!” Roman said. “Remus, go get them.”

 “On it!” Remus ran into the crowd of parents and quickly emerged with Levi and Eleanor in tow. “Mommy, you said you wanted to meet Thomas’s parents. This is Thomas’s dad!” He pointed at Logan, who gave them a smile.

 “Eleanor, Levi. It’s certainly been a while.” The three adults shook hands. The kids looked up at them expectantly.

 “I’m sure the kids have been keeping you on your toes.” Eleanor smiled down, ruffling Roman’s hair. “We wanted to invite you to dinner. How about Saturday night? The kids have been begging for a sleepover with Thomas lately.”

 “I’ll have to check with my husband, but that should be alright.” Logan watched Eleanor’s smile falter a little bit, but Levi continued the conversation.

 “Well, here’s my card. Call us if you can, we’d love to have you.” Levi handed over a business card. “Have a nice evening, you two.” The family of four left, and Thomas tugged on Logan’s pant leg.

 “What did I say about tugging my clothes?” Logan tsked, slinging the strap of Thomas’s backpack over his shoulder. “Ready to go home, bud?”

 “Can we get ice cream?” Thomas asked as Logan picked him up, walking back into the classroom to grab his own backpack.

 “Why don’t we wait until after dinner?” Logan compromised, and Thomas nodded, satisfied with that answer.

 ~~~

 “No fucking way.” Virgil said when Logan told him the news that night, at dinner.

 “Language.” Logan sang under his breath as Thomas giggled.

 “Papa said a bad word!” Their son said gleefully, showing the contents of his mouth as he spoke.

 “Remember what we said about talking when you’re eating?” Logan scolded, but he was looking at his husband, still waiting for a response.

 “Why would they want us over for dinner? They’re like Broadway      royalty.     Why are they here, anyways?” Virgil asked, sighing.

 “Well, they’re the parents of Roman and Remus, who are Thomas’s friends. I figure we should at least put in the effort to get to know them.” Logan spotted Thomas pushing his vegetables around his plate. “Buddy, you gotta eat your veggies.”

 “But why?” Thomas whined.

 “Because they’re gonna make you really smart and really strong. Like superpowers.” Logan said, smiling as Thomas started shoveling pieces of broccoli into his mouth. “And you always said you wanted to talk to them.”

 “Well, yeah, but what if they’re rich as-” Logan glared at Virgil, who corrected himself mid-sentence. “They’re rich meanies?” He tried, and Logan rolled his eyes.

 “Why would they be meanies? Roman and Remus are nice to me.” Thomas piped up. He was promptly ignored.

 “Isn’t Eleanor h-o-m-o-p-h-o-b-i-c?” Virgil spelled out, shooting a warning look at Logan.

 “She can’t be, she’s surrounded by people like us all the time. Plus, isn’t Levi bi?”

 “You can still be that and marry someone like      us    .” Virgil said indignantly. “What if they’re teaching their kids that kind of bias?”

 “Considering the amount of times I say “my husband” in class, I’m pretty sure their kids can think for themselves by now.” Logan smirked. “And I don’t know why they’re living here. I thought they went to New York, too.”

 “Why don’t I have a mommy?” Thomas asked after the three had lapsed into silence for a few moments.

 “You do. We just don’t know where she is.” Virgil said. “Adri… Do you remember them? They were your social worker.”

         “No?”

 “That’s okay.” Virgil smiled gently. “Adri said that they didn’t know who your mommy was. But when you’re older, and if you still want to find her then, we can look for her.”

 Logan looked at Virgil warily. They did know the truth, but a little white lie was easier than explaining the process of surrendering a baby.

 Thomas’s mother had been young, only sixteen. Adri hadn’t been able to tell them much, but they had said that the mother surrendered the baby to a police or firefighter station when he was a few days old. Thomas was taken care of by an older woman, until he was three, when the woman was diagnosed with some chronic illness that rendered her incapable of caring for him. After that, he went to Virgil and Logan.

 Logan didn’t want to upset Thomas with any of this information, but he also didn’t want Virgil to make promises he couldn’t keep. Making promises with kids was always dangerous territory, especially when their memories were so damn sharp.

 ~~~

 “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Virgil sighed as the three of them stood at the Michaels’ front door. “Why are we doing this?”

 “Because we’re good parents.” Logan reminded him as he stepped forward and rang the doorbell.

 If Virgil thought his childhood home was too big, the Michaels’ house was even bigger. Before he could say a word, the family heard shouts from inside. Remus and Roman swung the door open.

 An older woman appeared in the entrance hall, running up to them and the door. “What did I say about answering the door without checking?” She scolded.

 “Sorry, Joanne.” The twins chorused without a hint of remorse, and the woman shook her head.

 “My apologies for their manners. I’m Joanne, the housekeeper. The mister and missus are in the parlor.” The woman said, leading them inside. “I’ll close the door and get dinner ready.” She disappeared down another hall, letting the twins lead the way to the living room.

 “Come on, we’ll show you our video game room!” Remus told Thomas, jumping up and down. Thomas looked at Virgil and Logan with wide eyes.

 “Can I, Papa?”

 “Why don’t you watch a movie?” Eleanor’s voice rang out. “We’ll call when it’s time for dinner.”

 “Okay!” The twins chirped, grabbing Thomas and running off.

 “Come on, we don’t bite.” Eleanor promised, taking the couple into the parlor. “The kids will be okay on their own.”

 Virgil looked at Logan, nervousness bubbling in his stomach.

 This was going to be a long night.

 ~~~

 It wasn’t until after dinner that the anxiety in Virgil’s stomach spiked. The conversation was now about the other couple’s budding acting careers.

 “It’s so difficult juggling them now with the twins. But I suppose it was even worse when they were newborns.” Eleanor laughed lightheartedly. “Now it’s easier to let them run off and do their own thing. We bought our apartment in New York before we even thought of having kids, and it’s too small for all of us to fit. When we have our show runs or movie shoots, they stay here.”

 “With who, exactly?” Logan asked, raising an eyebrow. Virgil glanced at his husband, almost seeing the gears in Logan’s head whir.

 “Well, there’s Joanne, but she leaves around 5 PM and arrives around six or seven the next morning to get them ready for school.” Eleanor shrugged.

 “We figure that the boys can entertain themselves for the evening, and they can operate the microwave and stove well enough.” Levi waved his hand, standing up and moving towards a small bar setup in the corner. “Would either of you like a drink?”

 “That’s alright, thank you.” Virgil said as Logan opened his mouth.

 “The boys could always stay at our house.” Logan blurted out, ignoring the stare Virgil was giving him. “While you’re out of town. Just so it’s not just them in the house every night.”

 Eleanor blinked slowly. “That would save us a lot. Are you sure that’s alright?”

 “We’ll let you sleep on it, but thank you for the generous offer.” Levi swept in, shooting a flawless smile at the Sanders’. “Alright, who wants to fetch the kids?”

 The trio ran in as Levi spoke, all with equal grins. “Can Thomas sleep over?”

 “Not tonight.” Levi said, the four adults watching in amusement as they pouted.

 “It’s time to go home, Thomas.” Virgil stood up. “It was nice reconnecting with you both.”

 “We’ll call once we’ve discussed everything as a family.” Logan gave them a warm smile, ushering his husband and Thomas out. “Thank you for hosting us!”

 The minute they were on the road, Virgil turned to Logan. “This whole idea is ridiculous.”

 “Obviously. They’re neglecting their kids.” Logan scoffed, keeping his eyes on the road.

 “That’s not what I- Logan, we can barely afford the mortgage and this isn’t like adopting or fostering. We’re taking care of two kids for free. It’s not your job to help everyone.” Virgil sighed. “I know you love kids, but you’re not responsible-”

 “I      am     responsible for them, Virgil. They’re being neglected and they don’t know it, otherwise they’d be worse for wear. What if something happens? And we’ve known but we didn’t do anything to help?” Logan gripped the steering wheel tightly. Virgil knew he was fighting a losing battle. He sunk into the passenger seat, leaning back.

 “You can’t save everyone, L.” Virgil sighed again, rubbing his eyes.

 “I know. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t try.”

 ~~~

 A month later, the Michaels twins moved in as semi-permanent residents. Virgil and Eleanor rearranged their emergency contacts with the school before the Michaels flew off to New York again, promising to return at Christmas.

 Logan had painted their rooms their favorite colors. Not all of their toys survived the move - some remained at the other house for when their parents were in town - but the essentials arrived with them. Namely, the twins’ plush dragons, which they had picked out when they were four on a visit to the local toy store.

 Virgil was hesitant, at first. Would they call him Mr. Sanders or Dad? How on earth was he going to explain it to them when they were older? Logan had an established relationship with them already, but Virgil was just a stranger.

 And then, he wasn’t.

 Remus started clinging to Virgil like no tomorrow, even though he and Roman still called him and Logan Mr. Sanders. (Logan had insisted they call him whatever they wanted, within reason.)

 Virgil made their lunches, kept his ears open for any nightmares or shouts, and always maintained a level head when they fought with Thomas or with each other.

 “How would you feel about more ki-” Logan started to ask one night as they got ready for bed. Virgil scoffed, laughing and shaking his head.

~~~

Taglist: @plinamiismyotp @elementalshadowwitch @idkanameatall @zaisling @sunshineandspecs @bucketsofclams

[violetwolfraven]

Doubt Quiets

Since the jomike part of the Reincarnation AU is going to happen but not for a long time, here’s something as a kind of holdover that is in that universe but won’t be in the main fic when I get to writing that.

@gendistic42 this one’s for you! Hope you like it!

Tw: referenced suicide attempt and internalized homophobia.

Jojo was absolutely terrified, but he was doing this, anyway.

He had to do this. He couldn’t back down now, or he would never get the courage to try again.

He’d only gotten this far because he was riding the adrenaline he’d taken from that rooftop.

God, he didn’t know how Jack had gotten there in time to talk him down, stop him from jumping. He must have gone about a million miles per hour above the speed limit.

Jojo was glad he did. That was one thing he hadn’t expected.

It was kind of surprising that Jack was trusting him to be alone this soon, but he was glad about that, too. He needed to do this for himself, by himself.

Jojo adjusted his grip on his flashlight, climbing higher into the tree in the Guzman family’s front yard. Only one bedroom had a window facing the front yard of the house, and he knew for a fact that the boy who occupied it used this tree to sneak out sometimes, so hopefully, Jojo could use it to sneak in.

He was high enough off the ground for the second time that night that a fall could at best seriously injure him, and that was making his hands shake enough that he had to concentrate doubly hard not to fall.

Oddly, this kind of fear felt... familiar. But along with it was a fierce determination, a drive that said this was something he needed to do.

Hesitating only for a second, Jojo reached out and knocked on Mike Guzman’s window.

No answer, but that was probably reasonable considering how late it was.

Jojo knocked a little harder, still hoping he didn’t wake the whole family.

There was a space where he wasn’t sure if he was going to knock again, and then Mike opened the window, looking about 150% confused.

“You’s scared the livin’ shit outta me,” he admitted, “Jojo? What’re ya doin’ here?”

“You belong together,” Jack had insisted, “I can’t explain how I know, Jojo, but... God, I just know! You’s meant to be together, and ya both want it and I promise it’s not wrong to want that. You trust me, right? You and Mike are meant to be.”

Jojo took a deep breath. If there was any chance he could’ve backed out before, it was definitely gone now.

“I had to see you. Can I come in?”

Mike still looked confused, and maybe a little worried, but he nodded and reached out to help pull Jojo in the window, then over to his bed so they could sit.

“What is it?” he asked, seeming more worried, now, “Not that I don’t condone climbin’ a tree in or out a window in the middle of the night, but... well, for you, it’s weird. Are you okay? You’re shakin’.”

“I’m...” Jojo sighed, “God, where to start?”

He’d looked away, being extremely nervous, and Mike reached out to turn his face back toward him with a light touch on his chin.

“How ‘bout the beginning?” he suggested gently.

The beginning? Where was the beginning, exactly? When Jojo had moved from Harlem and wound up meeting the best friend group he could have asked for? How they felt like family right from the first day and how it was like they knew him and he knew them right away, from very the first second he met them?

How one boy had been all of that, but dialed up off the charts?

Jojo had known Mike from the first moment he met him. And not ‘known’ as in, he knew his name or his favorite color or whatever small talk they exchanged.

As in, he knew Mike. Knew who he was in his core. And as much as Jojo had tried to deny it, that very first moment—the first time they made eye contact—was like the universe punched him in the stomach and said this is one yours.

As they became friends, that feeling only intensified, growing stronger and stronger. It felt like he was home every time Mike said his name. It felt like the earth shook when he smiled at him. It felt like Jojo had the entire world in his arms when they hugged.

He hadn’t been able to deny his feelings forever, no matter how hard he tried.

Plus, the dreams hadn’t helped, but Jojo was still trying not to think about those.

He dreamed of his friends a lot, and Mike was no exception. Sometimes, it was just normal friend stuff, fun random things with a few other people. Sometimes it was a terrible kind of nightmare where they got hurt or worse.

But more and more often lately, the dreams were more... heated. Of time stolen in alleyways and on fire escapes, or quiet, slow kisses while cuddling in a bunk bed at night.

Those were the dreams Jojo had tried the hardest to forget, feeling that they were wrong even though he couldn’t control them.

Long story short, however nauseous it made him feel with anxiety, Jojo was tired of denying his feelings. Of pretending one person didn’t make him forget to doubt himself.

Maybe that was a good place to start.

“It’s a long story,” he said quietly, “And you’re gonna... you’re gonna wanna interrupt me, but don’t. I need ya to shut up and let me say the whole thing. Okay, Mike? Promise?”

Mike still looked worried, but he nodded.

Jojo took a deep breath.

“My whole life, I felt like there was somethin’ wrong with me,” he began, “Ever since I was little, it was like I was searchin’ for this thing I knew I was supposed to have, only I didn’t know what it was. All I knew was there was a piece of me missin’. Maybe more than one, but then...”

Jojo smiled, thinking of the memory.

“Then I met Elmer and Buttons in math class. For the first time in my life, I felt like some of the holes in me might be filled. Our friends became the kind of family I always wanted. One where I didn’t hafta be afraid of disappointin’ anybody... but I still doubted myself. I still doubt myself. All the time.”

Mike looked like he wanted to say something, but true to his word, he stayed silent.

“There’s a part of me that says every little thing I do is wrong,” Jojo admitted, “I don’t trust myself. I never have. So how could I trust my... my feelings? My feelings for you.”

Mike’s mouth dropped open in surprise, but he didn’t speak, clearly fighting the urge.

Jojo loved him for that. For keeping his word even though he clearly didn’t want to.

“I was raised to believe it was wrong,” he explained quietly, “But I couldn’t fight how I was drawn to ya, Mike. You filled in more spaces than anybody else. And maybe I’m... maybe I’m just tired of fightin’ it. I am tired of fightin’ it. There’s no way out of this. How I feel ‘bout you.”

This was going to be the bad part, but he knew that Mike deserved to know.

He’d find out eventually, anyway. Better that Jojo was the one to tell him.

“I couldn’t deal with it. Like I said; there’s no way out. So I... I tried to take a permanent one.”

“Jo...” Mike grabbed his hands, clearly having forgotten his promise to let Jojo talk, “Please tell me you ain’t talkin’ ‘bout...”

“Jack found me on the rooftop of the school,” he whispered, “If he hadn’t talked me down... I woulda splattered myself on the sidewalk.”

“Jojo.”

“Ya said you’d let me finish,” Jojo reminded him.

Mike still looked uneasy, but he shut his mouth.

“He told me lovin’ you ain’t anything to be ashamed of, and...”

Jojo had to take a deep breath before continuing.

“I do,” he said firmly, “I do love you. And I never thought I believed in love at first sight before, but... but I loved ya from the first second I met ya and I didn’t even know why. I still don’t, but... I know ya make the doubt in my head quiet. You’s the only thing that makes it quiet.”

There was a couple seconds of silence before Jojo realized his mistake.

“I’m done,” he said quietly, half-terrified of the other boy’s response.

But the doubt in his head was quiet right now. Because of Mike. He usually couldn’t trust anyone not to hurt him, but he trusted this boy he loved enough to believe he’d be careful with his heart.

Still, the silence was making him uncomfortable. He didn’t know why Mike hadn’t said anything yet.

When Jojo looked up, he was shocked to see that he was crying.

“Hey, Mike, it’s okay.”

Mike laughed, but he let him wipe the tears from his face.

“You’re comfortin’ me? You’s the one what almost jumped off a fuckin’ building, Jo. I... fuck, I’m so glad Jack stopped ya.”

“Me, too,” Jojo admitted.

Shivers ran up his spine as Mike trailed his hand from Jojo’s, all the way up his arm, over his shoulder and up to rest on his cheek.

“I knew you somehow the second I saw ya, Jo,” he whispered, “And I... I think I started fallin’ for ya that same day.”

Something in Jojo already knew that, some part of him thought he’d even heard it before, but a larger part was feeling nothing but happy surprise.

“Ya mean ya actually... actually love me, too?”

“Yes,” Mike laughed, having to wipe tears out of his eyes again, “God, yes, I love you, too. I knows ya ain’t supposed to say that when you’s only a teenager, but I love ya more’n I can say and I have since the day we met.”

Dang. Now Jojo was crying, too.

A part of him was still terrified, wanting to run, screaming at him that all of this was wrong, because as much as he wished he could believe the others when they said being gay was nothing to be ashamed of, you couldn’t unlearn a lifetime of toxic teachings from your blood family and church after just a couple months short of a year with a family that was your choice.

Mike took a shaky breath, clearly trying to hold back another sob, “I don’t wanna imagine what I’d do if I lost you, Jojo.”

For some reason, that sentence made Jojo flash to a world where he didn’t have to imagine losing Mike, because he had. He’d seen a world like that in his worst nightmares before.

He shoved those images away, grabbing onto the front of the other boy’s shirt to ground them both.

“I’m right here. Shh, Mike. I’m right here. I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

Mike leaned in closer suddenly, and though it caused all kinds of wonderful butterflies, knowing what he was about to do, there was also a burning, undeniable terror.

The kind that still came whenever he did anything his parents wouldn’t approve of.

Mike stopped at the last second, just barely a breath away.

“You’re shakin’.”

Jojo was shaking, all the way down to his soul, and he couldn’t decide if it was from the good kind of fear or not.

“I guess I am,” he said breathlessly.

He could feel the heat coming off the other boy’s skin.

“Can I?” Mike asked, his voice barely even audible.

Jojo was still absolutely terrified, but he knew what he wanted nonetheless.

“Yes,” he whispered.

Mike hesitated for a second more, waiting to see if Jojo was sure.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, “This is okay.”

All this felt... familiar, for some reason, but Jojo couldn’t think about that right now.

Because Mike was digging his fingers through his hair, kissing him deeply and desperately, as if trying to fit a million overpowering feelings into one single, blissful moment.

Hell, Jojo was trying to fit a million overpowering feelings in here, too. He was still working on believing this was real.

He was still trying to wake up his heart. To stop his hands from shaking as he balled his hands into fists in the other boy’s shirt.

To figure out why the fact that this kiss was definitely their first didn’t feel true.

“Still shakin’,” Mike observed when they broke apart for air.

“It was cold out in that tree,” Jojo deadpanned, and they both laughed.

Mike ran his fingers through Jojo’s hair with a small smile, and Jojo leaned into the touch. It felt good. So good.

“Well, next time, don’t let it get so bad that ya gotta rush over here so fast. Call me when it gets bad enough that ya almost...” his face turned serious again suddenly, “Jo, I can’t lose you. I ain’t that strong.”

Jojo tried to take a deep breath. He felt a little nauseous, thinking of the view from the rooftop that came with any thoughts of Mike trying to talk to him about this.

He knew he couldn’t pretend this didn’t happen forever, but for now, he wanted to.

“Can we talk ‘bout this in the morning?” he asked, “I gotta sneak back into my house, anyway—my folks can’t know about... this.”

Mike pulled him back down on the bed when he tried to stand up to leave.

“I’ll let ya put off this conversation on one condition.”

Jojo tilted his head, “And what’s that?”

“Five more minutes?”

That cheeky smirk did more to him than it probably should, but Jojo definitely wasn’t complaining.

It felt wrong that he still couldn’t kiss Mike, himself. Like the limits he accidentally had from a very homophobic childhood shouldn’t be there, but were.

Still, he knew he definitely wanted to kiss Mike again, even if part of him still wanted to run away and/or throw up.

“Ya said ya wanted five more minutes,” he said, “Are ya ever gonna kiss me again?”

Jojo wasn’t sure where that kind of almost... flirting banter came from. He hadn’t thought he knew how to do that. He’d never had a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend. Hell, as a theatre nerd, he didn’t really flirt with anyone.

But this kind of banter with Mike? It was easy. It was instinctual, like they’d done this a hundred times before instead of never.

Mike snorted, “Ya really want me to, love?”

“I really do.”

They both laughed, and then Mike’s lips were on his again, and Jojo didn’t have time for doubting himself or that this was morally right, because he was so in love that the fear was quiet for now.

Jojo was sure he would doubt himself plenty, later, but for now, he could love and feel and want and not care about possible consequences.

“Oh. My. God.”

Jojo realized that Ike was standing in the doorway and promptly wanted to die.

Mike looked like he wanted to die a little, too, but he was still finding a way to smile awkwardly.

“Hey, brother. How’s it goin’?”

“I heard talkin’,” Ike responded with a shit-eating grin, “I figured you’d snuck someone in, but I didn’t expect to find ya makin’ out in the dark with Jojo de la Guerra. God, Mikey, if Mom and Dad knew ‘bout this—“

“I’d be totally dead,” Mike interrupted, “I know. Got anythin’ relevant to say?”

Ike shrugged, “Just that Sniper owes me five bucks. Hi, Jojo.”

“Hi,” Jojo mumbled, “Uh, my folks can’t know ‘bout this, either.”

“Relax. I ain’t a snitch. That said... I ain’t gonna tell ya what to do, but you should probably go home soon, ‘fore anybody suspects anything.”

Jojo nodded, still avoiding eye contact, “I probably should.”

“Oooookay. Have fun. Night.”

Well, at least it was easier to breathe, though still awkward once they were alone again.

Mike smiled softly, then gave him one more sweet kiss and stood up.

“You should go. Don’t want your folks missin’ ya.”

“They won’t till mornin’,” Jojo said with a shrug, “I’s got plenty of time to get back.”

“I still don’t wanna take the chance ya get caught,” Mike said firmly, “Ya couldn’t even tell ‘em ya had gay friends—better not to risk it.”

The thought of what his parents would do if they ever did find out made Jojo’s stomach turn, but he swallowed that feeling and headed for the window, turning on his flashlight.

“I’ll be watchin’ to make sure ya make it down alright,” Mike said.

Neither of them was moving from just standing by the open window, letting the cold air in the house.

“I love you,” Jojo said, sitting on the window sill to reach for the nearest tree branch.

“I love you, too,” Mike responded, “That don’t change the fact that ya gotta focus on the tree climbin’.”

Honestly, Jojo was anything but focused right now, but he managed to make it down the tree safely.

He could still see Mike watching, if he looked up, in the light of the street lamp.

Street lamps have always been good lighting for him.

Huh. What a random thought.

Jojo waved goodbye, and waited only long enough to see Mike wave back before turning to walk home.